Saturday, August 27, 2022

Garlic today

Today, I finished making the tomato sauce I began yesterday. And also cooked remaining tomatoes and eggplant-- to which I decided to put garlic into and make an eggplant roulette flavor. What I wound up with (aside from heartburn) was something that tastes close to my old college favorite boxed organic vegan eggplant roulette. 
I skipped eating garlic for most of the past several years. 
Though I cooked and jarred my way through a spiritual healing conference. I finally sat down as the online conference streamed live from Geseke continued.
After DH shared a moving truck driving story, I was stunned I could relate to the situation on any level. And somewhere after that and before a music performance happened- I sat quietly and felt a spine tingling up my back to my shoulders.
So, I wonder how many things changed today in my biochemistry. I typically don't eat that much nightshade or garlic 
And I had quite a day spiritually.

Was it vampire removal of the European flavor of garlic? Or was it an invitation for spiritual evil by consuming the night blooming evil garlic plant that Krishna's followers abstain from eating?
Yet articles say there is an adrenaline rush when the spine tingling happens -in absence of any damage.

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

hair changes

After a somewhat fun and healing decade in Hawaii-- despite the political, financial, and other stress-- one of my hair goals is on the mend.

The level 11 platinum mishap) that lost all of my conservative clients after my brothers death is finally vanishing from 2005. I went to the same hometown salon and they were busy (for a change) so they let their less conservative daughter do my lowlights. Lowlights with a few blond highlights before she started talking about my brother and turned me into a platinum blonde freak after foil after foil was laid down in my hair and she talked about partying.-- it didn't go over well with the international families whose kids I taught. It was already a stretch they hired me as a Hapa 

So it took many years of my trying to resolve the expensive disaster on my own. Going from metallic black to blonde since I found some friendlier people after 9/11 through my first experience being blonde.
But, it was a total life changing disaster.
And my coarse Asia hapa hair was barely holding up at all- blown cuticle etc by the time I arrived in Oahu. It was a time other mainland Hapa and AAPI started arriving to seek peace from the mainland.

I found and afforded natural  egan and hapa/Asian salon visits to heal my hair. They did their best for me, but I still wasn't. back to me. Not even when I attended the big international trade summit to show face- sadly as a mostly blonde that reeked of unity with the USA. No, the past decade of my life has not been about me at all-- it's been about everyone scratching their name into my being to make their statement- like tourists carve their names into trees to leave their mark.

I used to gawk at the beautiful model photo at the entrance of the salon sitting on the  beach with thick shiny healthy natural Asian hair. Not this mop that reminded me of so many racist people I loathed and I had to heavily condition and gloss to get a shine.

So it's been 4 years. And my hair is no longer soft and wispy from the chemical treatments. It's returned to it's natural nisei hapa thickness for the most part. Still, I probably have 3 years to grow all of it out with regular trims. I thought it wouldn't take so long -8 years,  but I kept at the balayage for a while before I dropped doing highlights alltogether.  Today, I'm proud to have mostly virgin hair color- aside from the toner I used to cut down on the old colored ends that were once top notch hand painted highlights. 2018 had been my marker- but I'm still getting the color trmed out of my hair. Maybe another 2 years and I'll be covering up the increasing greys.

So for everyone who destests natural hair color for selfies and pic and vids- I have been longing for it for a while. And I'm ok with being me, authentically.

post Keto & Pandemic pounds

Vegan Keto or plant based keto
Whatever you call it, I did it through my 30s to save my life. And the pandemic came one year into my move back to the mainland USA. It's not pretty, thinking it would be no big deal to use grain based protein powders and eat some normal foods with family-- I packed on pounds that my petite frame has never had on it. And I didn't bulge out of my size fours- I got my first ever "muffin top" and my face aged so fast. 
No, I don't even look like the same person  to me anymore. My ripped and lean abs vanished. My daily routine wanted as I patiently waited and meditated through extreme life threatening anti-Asian and Anti-Japanese hate attacks by hiding, yes literally hiding and being barricaded in my old office-- essentially a storage room of critical parts of my life including me.

I no longer look like the lean waif I was 4 years ago, typical sized. Back then where I looked acceptable  compared to my "all Asian" coworkers in Hawaii.

And I can barely stand looking at myself into the mirror. My life, finances, friends,have vanished
 And I only had too many European American algorithms showing me how I'm not going to fit into life anymore.

But the pandemic pounds, must come off somehow. And it does mean cutting all the grain again. And irrational food theory that surrounds me and is thrown in my face as being "acceptable" in meteocre America. I can't go on like this. And the solutions here- solutions to my immediate aafety-- have destroyed not only my body, but broken my heart through the past few years. And destroyed my livelihood in entirety. 

Don't ever eat out of fear after going Keto
It made me look like a beast.
Though most of my clothes fit tight.

Monday, August 22, 2022

Positive and Good

The positive, there were tons of great ideas. The negative, these great ideas fail to keep the world from destruction when used simultaneously. And what needs improvement-- is that the issue has become so overwhelming, we actually need real corrective actions - outside of more regulations that will fail us.

Look for the positive in everything and what is good. Ignore the dark tragedy and evil.
Leave duality of the universe. What have we left unscathed to change our "living on mother earth" framework?

I looked back at the racial tensions of the past decade, and did a mindfulness meditation to "remove that stress" from my  background mental chatter. Justified to find healing, I did what worked in the open and loving diverse environment I was in. Moving away from that environment, I expected similar treatment when I returned to the mainland USA. And my soul was deeply bruised for being misguided.
No, not all healing groups are the same in all places. Even under the same title. There is an interpersonal dynamic that chips away. 

Yesterday my meditation was on making peace with those who outrightly told me they hate Japanese, through the pandemic.
And my mind guided me to the thoughts about my "too quiet" demeanor. That I simply think to myself, I came here to heal. But you want to pick a fight with me, that is inappropriate. So I will leave the space and focus on my healing.
I've repeated this hundreds of not thousands of times in my life. And it's become a habit since few people have ever stood up for me to make a space for me, let alone in an appropriate way.

Changing religion to some light workers is like changing a burnt out light bulb. Yet, I /we are still in the room afflicted by the lighting-- no matter how many rainbow modes shine and linger. 

Thinking about the light workers I know-- religion has become a tool to socially network or a work around for complex persecution and systemic racism. It upholds the openness factor to different people and ideas, yet it fails to resolve the overall main issue-- having human rights upheld according to the State Laws, and UN Human rights acts. 

Switching lighting is a fun thing to take the mind off of otherwise obvious flawed society. And may provide some basic sustenance to quiet those who sell their wretched souls at the price of daily ,low maintenance contentment. 

How many times will nations reinvent themselves with social and economic theory, only to fail the people contained within their borders? Globalism, is a management style with a hint of consideration for how corrupt local governments can be manipulated. Globalism hardly rivals "well established" western families who essentially show the Globalists how laws are worked around in their local communities. And today, we see that concepts of equality only exist in dragging an opponent to the ground before throwing them off a cliff.

What is the good and positive? I started there and started shaming myself silently for stewing brashness-- and switching the lighting effect to focus on the bad and evil that taints it's duality in good.  There are some absolute rules that should be followed, to maintain and uplift ALL life on earth.  It is an absolute must.

While war casted shadows remain ghostlike, engulfing society like a dim mist. We have arrived at a point in time where the wings of protection surrounding us are unable to protect us from being burnt up from the closeness of the sun. We are all dying, with that one guarantee life has to offer -- death itself. It's time we save the natural world from a collapse upon us now, immediately. It s only for the worldcentric who understand the layers of focused niche experts whose collective inventions and researched applications have torn the fabric of the world apart.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Trust in an environment of persecution

An echo of those words I heard a successful AAPI say ring through me today something like this -- that Americans are all about Asian inclusion, as long as they aren't Asian-Americans and go back home.

Last night, I reflected on the serenity of the political, business, and social stage of Asian interactions being linked to my own experiences in classical piano. Everyone dresses up for the event, and it is serenity at its finest. What people don't see, is the physical abuse, targeted manslaughter aka suiciding an individual, downed planes and deaths people who didn't arrive, and American communities engaged in racist actions to drag down the AAPI's family in entirety.

In some old teachings to help others and visiting foreign environments, there is a concept of not causing harm. And though many do follow these simple and lazy rules;- the locked on socio-political missiles of targeting AAPI are enough to devastate a person. Only in an international communication under international laws, can an AAPI even express their emotion and the psychological impact of such American actions.

Yet you see that the clever legal gymnastics of the American criminal system is like a mass of fleas making a newborn kitten sick. Even going so far as to parasitise their food-- ie., A hateful non-Asian relative who they live with taking legal actions against them. 
Relative: "Oh you went shopping? Did you just eat that? That was  mine. I'm calling the cops. You theif you stole my food. You're an indigent ethnic living off me. I'm calling the cops you stole what you brought here." 

I know this from my own Caucasian father. Since the heights of Trump's Japan Steel Wars outburst, my own father and his community attacked my mother. I returned from Hawaii after giving away most of what I worked for to help. And though I provided a temporary buffer, the toxic system has decimated my finances and comprised my physical and psychological well being. 

And I won't say it's serene. No, attending APEC USA shipping symposium was as serene as the past decade has been for me. And i wasn't one of the deceased enroute- whose names were read and a moment of silence held. Nor is it serene for me to be condemned to intermittent hospitality work for a few months in my USA hometown- where I was berated and spat upon by customers and coworkers alike. For under $3/hour it wasn't worth my time and energy to continue to have grocery money for an atrocious recommendation and no rebuttal.

The ugly, not serene reality is more prevalent than those polished events.
And I, alone, am unable to stop the masses from dragging their future into primal tar pits of evil behaviors. Instead of 50people doing non-harmful good things- such as positive uplifting comments for an isolated minority-- such positive words are merely an insincere veil worn at face.

Something needs to change for AAPI who are stuck in racist environments. We have none to turn to and nowhere to go where there is much if any sincerity.

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Contralto thoughts

Tons of singers are emerging in home or at least virtual studios all over the world. Long gone are the days of the best person in your hometown who offers lessons or sings at a church or school being the "model voice"-- a person who studied with a famous professional vocal coach. Btw: most pro voice coaches are mezzo-sopranos and probably won't teach contralto.

Who is or isn't a contralto in the 21st century? Why is this such a head spinning psychological issue? For the non professional singer-- here it goes.
1. The singing range range of a singer needs to be secure. Secure meaning solid and the singer can always sing those notes at the edges of their range.
2. In opera terms it means the contralto can carry over the orchestra in that low range, and unmic'd in that range- for the entire show. What I think they mean is;-that Contraltos are more like the Grandmaster black belt of female voices singing both  low and high opera parts.
3. For cis-female singers who can sing contralto lows and below yet can't hit mezzo- soprano A5, or high tessitura soprano F6 in Mozart's Queen of the Night aria-- high notes- it leaves her without a vocal classification and only a range of accessible notes. Alto is a choral part , that doesn't exist outside of the Choir-- and they haven't changed that.* 
4. Some of us, pro musicians yet not pro singers, who sing other styles (for fun) down lo below are "offensive" to the opera chords by declaring ourselves contraltos by range class alone, and without operatic coach.

1. Range - voice classification E3-Bflat 5
After church and high school choir, many adults (yes adults) who were altos have to reclassify their voice. Some of us, yes I'm an example- sang alto because we could hold down the harmony easily against a bigger ratio of mezzo sopranos and sopranos.
Ie., Madrigals, select women's choir, varsity singers. 

 Ie. I sang as Alto 1 or Alto 2 with a few others who comprised less than 10% of the 150-180 person choir. We could belt alto and switch up to lower mezzo notes in an award winning H.S. choir. But, most of us couldn't get the highest notes of the mezzo range- at least, not without training.

Well, the 21st century still needs a range classification for women who sing lower than mezzo-soprano and are comfortable there- without formal training. We all know, lumping everyone who isn't a soprano into the mezzo soprano category is simply ludicrous. And  as the patient and quiet voiced pianist. 

The bulk of contralto singing has to be in the lower end of the range with plenty of focused breath support-- despite the possibility of bringing head voice or falsetto down into the lower range. That means sound that's mixed alot more than a handful of sexy, breathy soprano notes being sung in the low range. 

A contralto then works to mix the voice from bottom to top, top to bottom. All of this takes T-I-M-E !!! So if you want to have your best mix or timber through 3 solid octaves starting at or below E3 (it also helps to have a few more lower notes to ease into the Contralto range- thus B2, even if some sounds are made down to A2 or lower). It seems impromptu to go out and sing as a mezzo before working out the issues of having an extra half-octave or octave to mix. 

Okay. So still not convincing enough for hardcore opera buffs? We will need a new name for the range itself- Contralto range.

Contralto Controversy

The contralto reaches towards the lower depths of the female voice range. It's a term that I feel, is taken too seriously. And maybe it's time we all steer away from the European traditions. After all, there's barely room for others. 

Monday, August 08, 2022

copyright issues

One of the biggest issues I've had being alive in the USA is copyright. Especially since I'm a minority and Hapa/Halvsie. 
What does my race have to do with it? 
Simply that noone stands up for me. Noone, especially not my parents who started off by patentening my DNA with their Deep state Pennsylvania attorney.

So, the ludicrous issues  I have are;
1. My face looks different from different angles - though I'm not a composite image, some picture angles of my face are mistaken by A.I. for other people. This issue has been prevalent since 2003/2004 in the mixed race Halvsie community.
Unfortunately in my case, it's not only a copyright issue but is also an identity theft issue (in addition to other problems with the US Intel Community)

2. The data theft I've experienced, that is Icloud and Google  (and Microsoft) blocking me from my accounts or "locking up" pictures-- means that someone else could have or probably ©️ copyrighted my pics. It's happened several times where my microscopy of my own blood work, strange sunsets and skylines, and personal pics have gone missing for several years. Only to be returned to me after months staying at my parents' house. Yeah, it is really that bad. 
Hi, I represented the USA at a Trade summit...(I have powerful relatives overseas in Japan) but I can't make a phone call without glitches or get into my email and other accounts for 7 entire years. BTW: AT&T sucks. AND, I NEEDED FEDS TO KEEP ME ALIVE IN THE USA and am WITHOUT A CREDIT CARD.

3. I think I hit the main two issues, but here is the third issue. I got back to the mainland and learned from a friend about surveillance software testing on the local public's cell phones. So, being that I knew a developer directly-- I can only guess they aren't the 1st person contact who probably included my phone in their testing pool sample. 
      So, for a decade and continuing- I've had noticible issues typing without severe errors or keyboard freeze/crashes. Especially from Hawaii, but also definitely from Pennsylvania 2018-2020- I suspect also SAIC,  and some from New York's GrammaTech. 

Yeah, imagine all that along with gangstalking. It's no wonder my life is a total failure. Though, it is definitely US Defense related and FISA.

nightshade issues

The early August summer haul of veggies:
Green peppers, tomatoes
Dashed with onions and graffitied Greek eggplant...
All the European food nostalgia of my days in New York, got me to cave in and add an entire crisp green pepper on a 96°F day to my salad. Reflecting back to my pre-vegan childhood of slathering Catalina dressing on my green peppers every summer. 
I woke up regretting it.
My throat in early anaphylactic swelling and irritation phase as I sat in disappointment with my self control through my morning meditation. Focusing on breath, year 20+.
 And people wondered why I could tolerate the dry crisp sprinkles of green pepper on my thin crust pizzas- back in the day of my life before no pizza( a different issue).
So, I doggedly opted to oblige my mother's wish;- to make tomato stew. And so I set to taking a case and a half of tomatoes,the kind with a compression bruises from packing, and prepped them into cored, peeled, whole stewed tomatoes.

Instead for today, I picked a sprig of Japanese UmeShisoand made a melange of yellow summer squash, zucchini (zuke), and cucumber. Topped with shoyu, and boiled in the remaining tomato cooling water.

Sunday, August 07, 2022

Reflection of Nisei about Hibakusha

My mother,was a toddler in Japan when the abombs we're dropped. Many people don't know that I grew up hearing her stories of Americans testing biological warfare after the war. And then, I grew up as a genXer in the USA, a nisei born to a Japanese foreign national- not American enough for those around me. Not able to relate to me in a personal way.

This morning I read about the aging Hibakusha and Abomb survivor organizations being run by the next generation. And my heart goes out to the Hibakusha whose memory and presence sustained so many Japanese organizations. I myself feeling far distanced from anyone Japanese because of US enforcement of my life- tearing my family apart with their radiation and other experiments on me, my mother, my late brother. I attended a world Hiroshima event online- the only organization site allowed in my algorithm. And I felt, saddened by the presentation in English. It didn't seem apologetic to me. It felt like Japan was saying sorry and peace for Japan's sake. No Japanese music either. I could only think of the Hiroshima Abomb card my US father had given to my mother for her birthday many years ago- I remembered the shock, hurt, and horror on her face. And how he told her she should feel proud to be American. I only hit a sense of betrayal and smoldering rage for Americans, including and especially my own father who had entertained his community by abusing us for so long. I think and wonder, is this psychological torture?? And still wonder where he obtained or who had made the horrific birthday card for her.
Please keep in mind, the USA did damaging debilitating and experimental surgery on my mother- they claimed she had cancer from the abomb- yet my Japanese mother allegedly wasn't Hibakusha despite her generation. And, that I was affected for their biological gene studies here in Pennsylvania.

And I thought about my own situation in the USA, how non-peaceful reality is- compared to the US representative peace organizers.
And I would have much preferred to attend a different event put on by Japanese Hibakusha without the focus on Christian ideology. Not after the life I have lived in the USA where the Japanese stigma has turned into a torture complaint during the period of POTUS Trump's anti-Asian hate rallies.

And I'm sure people will disagree with me.
However, I view the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings as a source of Americans continued justification to torture people of Japanese descent. And In the midst of a couple of American faces, I felt there should be more Americans following them. And there were barely 250 in the Zoom from Japan and other places in the world. I felt betrayed. Especially since there is no tolerance for me setting up my own organization the USA outside of my college and university leadership. 

Maybe it sounds selfish of me, as a nisei- isolated from positive interactions in the US mainland. My hope for Japan, is that the Hibakusha's memory is preserved, intact. That there is some sincerity of accepting Japanese culture, music and prayer by Hibakusha in Japanese and English , even if on a CD or lead by the next generation. 
No matter how these events are run, or who creates an event since the political interpretation is another cult-like psyop to limited groups.

I want to hear the words, prayers, and music of the Hibakusha and their family honored throughout time.

Tuesday, August 02, 2022


T.I. Toolkit
Angela M. Kneale All rights reserved 2004-2025
Share:+ More
Trending News-topic
The only "firewall" the human brain has is the "blood-brain barrier" (BBB). 

Voice Frequencies
Voice Frequency is 300 to 3400 herz (HZ) range.
 Male Voices between 85 to 155 HZ. 
 Female voices between 165 to 255 HZ.  
Audio is slower than light              15:08.2021
Advanced signals are transmitted at picosecond rates up to the speed of light-- Solarblind region of ultraviolet bandwidth for nanotechnology. A live human test using Intra-Body (IB) HBC nano-technology in a controlled environment was published by a Chinese university in 2019.
Wireless Broadcasts to the Brain     15.08.2021
Human Body Communication (HBC) technology. Many products on the market are only a 'product name', not the actual technology. This fact makes it difficult to research. There are many coinciding and overlapping terms, and yes It Does Exist. » READ MORE ]
Inner Hearing Engages Imagination     29.08, 02:08
In the 1980s the term "Inner Hearing" was coined in the music world, by the world-renowned Organist,  Dr. Richard Van Auken. This article discusses how a musician's ability works.[ » READ MORE ]
T.I. Documentation
Giving Up? 
15.08, :00
Writing to the U.N. is a last resort.  Please note that the Torture Treaty only has 1 Rapporteur for 192 nations, and generally focuses on prisoners. CAT may not be as effective as other U.N. Treaties where torture can be addressed. ie., Torture related to; Disability, Domestic Abuse, Racial Discrimination, etc. 
International Organizations
28.08, 11:41EST
There are several international organizations that have sprung up in the past several years. Many are grassroots groups, that offer meetings. Others are newly established as civil rights groups. Check for their status of incorporation and membership requirements.
Technology & AI updates
Cybertorture See Pg. 18 of UN A/HRC/43/49
REASONS TO WRITE TO THE UNITED NATIONS -- A process that can take years

There is no statute of limitations in the international jurisdiction for many human rights violations. 

1. Refused help by domestic civil rights groups and attorneys and state or federal agencies.
2. Refused the right to report incidents by law enforcement and victim's advocacy groups ie. DOJ, FBI, ATF.
3. Retaliated on for making a report: to a victim's support agency, a domestic state agency, attorney, or law enforcement.
4. Changed national laws about foreign family relations affect your "espionage" status in the nation where you reside. 

Domestic reporting attempts should be documented in case an international inquiry is made after years of targeting. Journal phone calls, emails, and as many details of inquiries and conversations. Perpetrators can intercept phone calls or sub in a temporary worker, so be sure to research the contact agency thoroughly. Many civil rights groups and attorneys are prone to 'domestic schmoozing' with corrupt state actors against minorities born to foreign nationals, foreign nationals, immigrants, and their own minority citizens. Well-established civil rights groups and attorneys sometimes behave like foreign policy watchdogs and can contribute to further personal injury or death while maintaining strength from their domestic cheerleaders. 

Non-diplomatic yet related to a Foreign Official at a private corporation, in a foreign government, or an Ally.

Many attorneys are not international attorneys and do not offer authentic international apostille services as a notary.  Despite their domestic credibility;- they may be insufficient for minorities and international families of or with foreign national origins. This is one way the USA contained litigation and allegations of human rights violations for decades. 

In Europe and North America, many smaller courts, civil rights, victim's advocacy groups lack translators who speak non-European languages. The USA frequently lists volunteer positions that are unpaid and have no wage value for taxes or national contribution for very critical work to minorities. Attorneys can exacerbate very 'unbelievably small' issues of blatant persecution to create devastating effects for their "client" and the client's family members. Their slight misunderstandings and deliberate patriotism can plummet a studious and successful young person into depression, destroy their academic standing, reroute their life, and open the door for Cointelpro style operations against them that results in a covered-up death by suspicious circumstances or suicide decision by the local police. Interpol may never hear of the incident even if it involves a foreign national on a visa and legally employed. Equally disturbing, is the 'miscategorization' of Asian children, mixed-race children who are separated from their parents. Many of us are labeled "Mexican" by US officials and intelligence, despite our Asian nationality and parentage within the USA.

Time has proven that globalists and local hate crimes groups coordinate efforts 
against minorities and vulnerable foreigners. 

It goes one more level deep when a nations' citizen minorities feel they are entitled to lash out at the old enemies' of their homeland. Minorities lash out and harm other minorities easily in the political and social hierarchy of past wars.  Settlements that are gained from lawsuits are an economic part of rising out of infringed-upon minority status--in a capitalist nation. Extended family members of foreign officials at private corporations and civil servants are frequently targeted, used as hostages, and tortured for political agenda;- even if they are a citizen.  Successful widespread collaboration for them people is seldom trumpeted, and non-political families of the same nationality are conversely upheld in social status
Prepare for Disaster: 
28:08, 14:17 EST 03.09.2021
Flash floods may hit at any time. Keep documentation on DVD or CD. Waterproof bag & seal (double up) your evidence, power bank, phone, USB cords, etc. 
A crash pad serves as comfort that you can slip light RF (radio frequency) or EMF (electromagnetic frequency) shielding into. Stash extra bags too!
Put a GPS tracker in the bag in a real emergency.
Jumbled stuff? 
15.08, 12:00
If you want to write letters to officials, write a book, prepare a court case, be effective. It is important in a limited timeframe. Spend most of your time pre-writing.  After drafts are written -- Aim to accomplish one paragraph or topic each day that's easy. 
Consider taking a free writing course to help you edit and polish your documents.
Electromagnetic Attack?   What Cybertorture?

Top-down adoption for national cybertorture laws is underway since the U.N. Special Rapporteur on Torture released his groundbreaking report in 2020.

Are Electromagnetic attacks on diplomats involved in prominent cybertorture litigation? The jurisdiction is primarily related to official government property. Is this type of -- possibly outsourced and contracted-- cyber, electronic warfare attack an act of war? It affects the health of ambassadors and national representatives. The symptoms are similar to civilian reports of in-body cyber attacks to the head--results in brain injury. [read more]

National laws for public or civilian cases of cybertorture involving a plethora of cybertechniques and directed energy weapons (DEW) are in the making; on or off government property; by confirmed or unconfirmed assailants, remotely of using ambient backscatter communication methods.

03.09.2021 last updated 25.01.22      01:19AM EST
Microwave or Sonic Attacks as severe brain injury
03.09.21  21:28PM EST updated 14.09.21 01:57AM EST
Many auditory symptoms were reported by diplomatic Sonic Attack Syndrome subjects at or near US Embassies. Thousands of civilian cases resulting in UHI, in public places are reported around the globe. Please refer to  NCBI link about Havana Syndrome Symptoms.

 Resize 640 to 227

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Research Sites

Another friendship ended

So, another friendship has ended. See email screenshot below from a former NSA analyst directly to me.
And while many non-Asians assert that I can't be abused because of my subhuman characteristics; I beg to differ.

There's a big difference between participating, and social expectations that keep a person on poverty. Mainly, the subservient stigma that most Americans have against Japanese and Japanese Americans. That we are supposed to bow down to "America" and scrape by on crumbs and ashes of society in the suburbs of Manhattan, Boston, Philadelphia, and Washington D.C. aka the heartland of the former USA colonies.

Its as if it's a type of contagious mindset, that even the most liberal minded West Coast USA citizens embrace, just to fit into life on the East Coast. And while some small pockets of mixed race groups and others who set clear boundaries have been formed;- it's very clear that those groups don't include everyone. And that there is division and non-support to help the intelligence agency narratives- that is to push a foreign agenda by negatively or positively harming certain families.

Yet to speak of abuse, as a daughter of an immigrant,  is a death sentence here in the USA. In speaking out about torture, something Intel analysts prompted was for me to join the spotlight of being humiliated- so that my daily life has 'all systems failed'.
My father takes every day to float about how I have no proof of his daily black;put beatings as he tells my mom what an ass I am for trying to say anything bad about him. How he and the police have arranged to imprison me for the deaths of my two siblings-- the retaliation I face for reporting abouty sister's death that was a horrific daily story my mother told me. The truly horrible Americans - reaching out to me through a FISA related victims' movement- only to impale me on their flagpole of patriotic glory.

I've had enough of America, and whatever compassion is intertwined with their national genocidal glorification  of abombing Japan.

Monday, August 01, 2022


There's an open style of inclusion for some newer victims movements. But it really doesn't feel too emotionally healthy to me- especially as Ihave been on a quest for answers about my US veteran biological father.

The victims movement exists as a type of generational trauma permitted by the US intelligence community and armed forces.
But, it's even more destructive to have a foreign national parent attached to one of these toxic individuals.  I had never considered I'd be on a healing journey after my high school days of heading to Alateen (see book "Hope for children of alcoholics) during political science class. 

Today I'm searching for answers to my own trauma of growing up in an abusive community and household. And, I wasn't the only kid at Alateen - learning the basics of not having self blame for the shortcomings of my USAF veteran dad.

My mom, rarely drank alcohol and eventually condemned it. It became an impasse for our family because it was the last shred of "somewhat Happy" pastime a cording my dad. A person who physically abused me to appease his attorney and other community members and prove his commitment to the United States of America. Something I've rarely shared with Anyone-- until childhood torture documents started appearing in my online searches, to remind me of what and why my father did what he did for the USA.

And he has never apologized to me, and still is fixated on killing me as part of his daily ritual. I learned about psychic driving See this video at 4:33 

Today, I feel I learned about why my US father, a state actor, is and has always been a literal psychopath towards me. And that my mom fell into the same US torture experiments when he put her in experiential surgeries where she nearly died. And also returned home mutilated and scarred with Traumatic brain injuries. Yes, the uncaring USA took away any sense of safety I could have developed in life. I recognized that within me today when I viewed a brain scan video of a combat veteran. I have never had any sense of being cared for inside the mainland USA. 

All this talk of Havana Syndrome, microwave auditory effects, transhumanism, ambient backscatter, and CIA torture experiments is a lot, I mean A LOT to process. And then, add a big topping of biotech and nanotech studies. 

Everytime I see videos of microwave and brain injury scans- I think about how my immediate family members have suffered from different surgeries and accidents and attacks. Then think about those who I've known with TBI or PTS as combat vets.
 And then try to figure out how to keep myself going after tears well up. I wonder how the past 6 years of unravelling what the USA human tests on my family members will work out. It's quite a bit to understand the many ways the US government has experimemted on us.
Especially after my parents notified me as a child that we were experimenters and my Japanese national mother feared for our lives being threatened by my father as a State actor obeying orders of the USA.

being AAPI in this time

The positive of this gripe: It's my hope that by making these insights to my life public-- someone else will be spared the waste of countless days and months on hurtful "friendships".  There is a template LOR I made below (bottom of post) for a companion guide  dog for someone in need.

My gripe:
I am a genXer hapa and I'm sure accusations will be directed at me after I make this post. But it's time for me to move on. That is very clear. As the daughter of a foreign national who became an AAPI immigrant- I've run out of patience sifting through the barrage of Americans. It's tough for me to find the positive good ones here on the mainland.

Last week my inbox received several different unexpected emails in one of my newer email addresses. Some were from people I had blocked long ago on Twitter with my previous email address. And in the midst of it,. a request for a letter of reference for someone who I have known since last September and speak with on a regular basis.

And, because of the nature in which I know this person -- I was compelled to ask them about the recommendation, since they didn't mention it to me before giving out my information. Not only did I write a quick draft of the general contents I would include. But I allowed them to be part of the writing process. And instead of a LOR it became a lesson to me about how discrimination permeates the friendship I thought existed.

In their sharing of other LOR with me, I realized the stigma this person has towards me. Where frivolous personal details of the person's past were "acceptable good memories", where I do not exist. And how our friendship is a dumping ground for the person to unload the worst issues that would be intolerable on anyone else. It was a quick read for me after 3 days of being told to omit personal details of the person for a personal character reference. Literally, several hours of my time and phone calls.

After a long weekend. Our friendship ended with the text from them stating not to send any character reference. Since I got a flurry of positive quotations about how to manage being respected in my social media feed- I realized that not one of the people in my inbox would or could write a LOR for me. And what a waste of time I had put into what I had thought had become a "friendship".

Again, my bad. And it is a solitary road for me of not being "good enough" for these people I've included in my remote only life for several years. There is no replacement for the people who actually accepted me in a healthy way, in Hawaii. And I look to the AAPI and Asian immigrant community with a lot of love for allowing me to experience being treated with positive inclusion. And I hope that community stays strong against the tides of racism in subtle and blatant forms. There is no replacement for the AAPI community of Hawaii in my life. And so far nothing has come close to being inclusive, respectful, and safe for me to co-exist.

Letter of Recommendation for a remote friend:

_________ is a great candidate to receive one of your well trained working dogs.  I have known _________, remotely, for the past ___ year(s). During her/his journey to take on a seeing eye dog, she/he expressed her/his deep attachment for her/his previous dog companion, a treasured life experience.  One that I believe will aid her/him with care of a new companion.

____________ an outgoing spirit, and is also a very private person. I believe she/he is learning to calibrate her/his sense of adventure with the reality of her/his situation. She/he also seems homesick for familiarity and is eager to travel with confidence again.

She/he is blessed with helpful, inclusive, and sometimes transient and supportive people in her/his daily activities. For hobbies she/he enjoys to pray, to do art, and to take nature walks. As a former __________, shehe keeps current on conversations that surround technologies of the evolving society we live in. 

____________ is a dedicated vegetarian with a compassionate concern for animals. She/he has great interest in the care of her/his future canine teammate.

I am happy that _________ has this opportunity with _______ to match her/him with her first canine teammate. I believe one of your magnificent dogs is a life changing event that will support her/his life and well being into the future.


Angela Kneale