Wednesday, April 13, 2022

last night's dream

Last night's dream somehow nearly tore me apart emotionally. Was a totally unusual dream 
1. Jason Statham was in the dream, saying he wanted to know some animal rights people. Odd to me because he was my brother's favorite actor. And there was a strange dream segway where JS met my deceased yet embodied brother and sat next to him. Strange part of my dream.
I thought maybe it was triggered by the VW I had. And living like a local Hawaiian like KaiKai told me to do to survive shit from 2009 till 2018. One day I was stuck in traffic at the North Shore and saw someone who looked like JS. In the incoming traffic in a flame colored SUV accompanied by a person wrapped in scarves like they had just had plastic surgery. Totally rando. 

2. My deceased brother who was a big JS fan was in the dream- disoriented from his death but together enough to have JS sign the back of his Tshirt. He used to bring JS movies home to watch, and I always thought they were quite evil and violent.

3. My father got new Christmas decorations- a fake tree he put on the family piano. And I protested since we hadn't had a family Christmas since the Buddhism taking over years before my brother's death. I gave everyone Dalai Lama books that year and we all agreed to be Asian since my dad's family and community didn't even take a family pic with us. (Except real: USA Langley gunner & Iwo Jima Japanese killer Uncle Eddie who was at my earliest birthday parties.)

It was a very strange dream for me.  And there was some focal point on a tiny "suitcase" sized key for some reason.
But I started crying when I woke from this dream today. Uncertain if there is some healing for me from it. 

It's more strange than the actual real day I missed work because someone, ( a paratrooper who kindof looked like Bruce Willis ) used dim mak on the back of my heart, and I passed out for what seemed like12-14hours in Waikiki. They had their arms wrapped around me like hoping they hadn't killed me. But the skin___ker moved through my mind and used this person to harm me. Stuff that I shouldn't speak of...only I know.

Aside from KaiKai insisting on training me, which I had been thinking of before I went to sleep. All the Alpha males and being one of a few females...yet the only one who was around him daily;- I am really wiped out from Special forces using me like a live dummy wherever and whenever
I am crying because I went to Hawaii for a vacation and to Segway into family life. And got a special ops disaster. It's now way to late for that.