Tuesday, April 12, 2022

another dismal dream

While the quality of life deteriorated through lockdown, unexpectedly, I spent many hours in meditation and prayer.
Part of what drove me to prayer was the escalation of anti-Asian hate and hate acts directed at me each day I was in public 
And the international healing  prayer group I have belonged to for many years has also held it's share of Karen's more than Kens from the USA based communities.
Yet, I reluctantly avoided much of the volunteer leadership who felt more inclined to outrightly say they hate me or they hate Japanese people within a brief introduction.
And despite writing to other volunteer leaders about the incidents that made me feel unwelcome and threatened, I had no response. It was my last refuge online and isolated from any normal social interactions for the past 2 years. 

This morning I woke from my slumber in yet another dismal dream scene. One walking through some beautiful residence with a famous Hawaiian. And stopping to see how polluted and trashed the once pristine Hawaii waters had become. The water was somewhere between NYC trash and rubbish plus Thailand's streams of brown. 
And then a scene where I was job seeking for an appropriate job for my Buddhist and Vegan soul. Yet only dark trades in alsohol and clubs were offered. Even an old college classmate appeared to tell me they have plenty of Jobs at the world xlass alcohol distribution retail store where he works just before then his own face turned blue as if he were dying from a toxic Jab. It was an unusual dream of someone I last saw a few years ago. And with a clear ATF connection due to the workplace. 

I woke to the phone ringing loudly 1st from my hometown and then immediately after from another town and the reality of police from other counties calling for fundraising.
I wondered if there was microwave or RF they directed at the house again. Last night, I had my phone battery run down after a session of activist emails, and put the phone and Bluetooth headset in an old Microwave and unplugged the WiFi router. The TV's were turned off until I finished housecleaning, near 11AM and people returned from post-op surgery checkup. Sometimes the police park nearby to use any portable RF weapons. 

After all, yesterday, I had my phone on again on my drive to town and a PD SUV passed me on my short rural drive. These Police sightings are no longer coincidence since they have targeted and covered up killing my siblings and the abductions I went through over 3 decades I lived in Bucks County, PA. 
The 20+ reports I made to the liberal Department of Justice had inconsiquential impact on my life. Rather I got the sense that they condoned pedophiles in the school employ and local governments sex assaults- on me as "an English learner". 
And today, like my childhood, I am stuck on the USA yet loathe everything about what these people are to me. I hate what these people are at a deep spiritual level.

And because my father is a white man who was USAF w6 and allegedly OSI-- my mother, was unable to fight these people and spare our lives the continued torture.
Today, I'm reaching 50years of age soon. And I have 50years of continued torture, outright discrimination, financial sabotage, and non-consensual human testing by Pennsylvania DeepState to report. Despite the painful wakeup all, I still pray for a positive time in my life where things are "FOR ME" in a positive supportive way. And I believe the USA is totally incapable of providing this for me.