Monday, March 28, 2022

missing heart connecrion

My life in the USA female has been practically devoid of protection for any heart connection. Though in Japan and Hawaii, I could feel more of that heart connection. 
What I am speaking of is a "quantum" spiritual connection that transcends socio-political unity on agenda ie., Veganism, animal liberations, environmental issues.
A Heart Connection is the "missing link" to personal intimate relationships. And what I mean by this, is that there is a clear sixth sense between you and those around you.
It's shown in a worried phone call before someone near you unexpectedly goes into a frenzy. Or, someone returning to your door after leaving when they sense your agony and grief. Sometimes it's felt when you give someone a hug after knowing them for years. 

This type of connection is non-existent for me on the mainland USA. And it speaks volumes to the American standards of lust and exploitation of Asian women. Being impersonal has it's limits, and it is not safe when it is the only interaction with those in your community for years. Yet neither is becoming a trophy API (HAPA)fetish for men to defend or pass around while they sever and abuse any friendships the woman had. And sex assault is a tool for these men to "one up it" and hurt any heart connection a serious intimate partner (for marriage in US terms) has. For me, many of the assailants walked away from punishment, while my spirit and security were destroyed. 
And Americans (I mean state actors and Intel agents) who use the "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" addage repeated these offenses throughout my life. Iow., Even with their impunity, my only defense is to write another hopeless letter to the UN about how my life has been obstructed from any normal path. 

Ironically, the UN is overwhelmed with complaints from the world's citizens and is ineffective at any enforcement in member states like the USA. 
It makes the United States that I have experienced, worse than any communist regime. The impunity is stacked with Nazi-era values that overshadow my life as a mixed-race individual of Japanese and American heritage. And the heart connections I have, still remain with me despite the I'll actions of state actors who intentionally intended to torture me further.