Sunday, December 19, 2021

Nano-tech polymersome


Darkfield Microscopy- Live blood (7000nm-1000nm cells)  of Angela "Kikuchi" Kneale
copyright 2014
Finger-points to the area of 'black nano scatter' biotoxin
appx 480-520nm Cyan polymersome or nanosphere & disintegrated structure 

Definition by size: Nanoparticle- is on the nanoscale, Nano-tech 1-100nm

1. Nanosphere (aka Bead - possibly PMMA or PGLA) aka polymersome 
These beads are responsive to signals and/or temperature changes.
Some of these spheres have the potential to trigger additional cytotoxicity and unknown long-term effects. 

2/3- Possibly disintegrated nanospheres- or triggered beads that released contents.

4. Red Blood cells - with hexagonal structural changes - indicate my blood's ability to adapt to recruit oxygen and/or to maximize surface area for efficient signals conductivity - note closest to the crystal and bio-toxins.

5. Crystal appx 30000nm- attributed to Uric Acid created due to bio-toxins. Unlikely it is a Nano Chip due to lack of luminosity. However, there is a black nanostructure within it that appears to be similar to known patented nano-chip circuitry.

Saturday, December 18, 2021

Finally, a drafted script/story

This past week, I meditated on my writing abilities. 
And, finally, I have a draft of my sci-fi psychodrama. Surprised by the patience and focus I had to write 10 pages of story, setting, characters, and some dialogue before stopping. 

Amazingly, my drive brought up an old 2018 attempt at making a script in Hawaii while embattled with surveillance virus issues on my auto word. I had been prodded to try writing or something to get out of the bar scene crowd by a customer (a film director) who worked on Hollywood films in Hawaii. That was before I got a call about a family situation on the mainland, and left Hawaii not knowing what my future would be. If I would return to Hawaii, or take the solo role to be my elderly parents' support team. My 3-year plan was also financially stunted by the pandemic.

 This is what I need to learn to try, simply to attempt a part-time job career change. But in 2021, that career change looks bleak. For some reason, I forgot that I "registered" my 1st 12 pages of bad scriptwriting -- only to see if I could use the online process. With ill-fated confidence for the virus-ridden and badly structured screenplay dialogue- I plunged it through to the registry.  Laughing at utter humiliation and embarrassment, I read through that old script this week. Noting EVERY SINGLE mistake and confusion in the scenes.

This wasn't like my freshman year at my alma mater as a Music major living with a Communications major and filming her 1st student film project almost entirely in our dorm room with a view. I being the main actor in her film-- that I've still never seen to this day. And it definitely wasn't my first independent computer stylus - hand-drawn (hand painted computer) animation that took dozens of sleepless days to render on a Power-Mac. That senior year rando computer art project I entitled "In the Blue" lasted a whopping few seconds as a naked blue woman emerged from a black box as college TV channel aired seconds of the classes projects. The 1st production I named under "Green Ondine Productions" was blessed with a few weeks extension to finish it as a class project as I got private access to my boyfriends' brand new G3 he used to daytrade on when I wasn't working on the animation at our condo where we split rent. I was so grateful for the processing upgrade. My creative work ended that summer without a direction. And the work - oh yes, my first endeavors of full-color computer painting and rotoscoping drills-  is locked away on a VHS tape and zip disk somewhere. VHS? yes, on VHS. 

So, I'm still overwhelmed with the diversity and seriousness of the research I've done in 2019-2021. Another 3 full years wiped away. And, far away from the positive social crowd that lifts my mood; I can't even anticipate where my life will be headed in 2022.

This year 2021 was fairly unproductive: 
I wrote 1 song, some random other lyrics, several blogposts, and did research about my human rights case. And now, I can just eek out 1 draft of a script/ story. 

Friday, September 10, 2021

Because of the bad ones in the group

Several years have passed since I joined a German-based, international, healing community. And, I've stuck with it somewhat shamefully because I can practice on my own, and worked through decades of trauma from USA persecution and racism. Yet, it is German-based, and within it lurk people who have an intense hatred of me for being of mixed-race hapa, Asian, and Japanese descent. Though I joined the community in a diverse place- Hawaii. So the initial community was much more diverse and accepting. And only 1 serious incident of an older German (immigrant?) woman who attacked me in front of everyone because to her, I am a brown thing that she could not believe speaks English. Today, in 2021;- her outright behavior would be akin to a hate crime.  Yes, in a healing group. 
Today, I'm reflecting on that incident as 1 of 3 strikes in my personal safety manual. 

The 2nd strikeout in 2020, was surprisingly from an elderly Phillipino woman who, I was told to contact on the East Coast. When I contacted her and told her I came from Hawaii and am Japanese-American, she responded quickly with an outright statement of hatred from Japanese people. I smugly listened to her rant about her hatred of my background, blaming me and others of my kind for war issues long ago. This is what the Healing group of Bruno Groening Circle of Friends has in store for me.

Yesterday, was the 3rd strikeout as I clicked into the East Coast IGR. A place online where my full name and town location is posted in front of everyone. It makes me an easier target for racists in person. So, even though I thought things were positive- the community leader obviously stated that I was not being positive when I began to tell of my healing from SRA. A lengthy process that started before I left Hawaii and asked to heal from it. The Community leader immediately interjected that I was not being positive. I had only wanted to report that I was through my 3+year regelungen since I made the request, and had had a successful meeting about writing a co-authored book with another person.  
It seems consistent with some of the Circle of Friends that they wish harm on me, thus my healing is a negative thing. It's not the first time since I've had to try and work with the Success Report Writer main editor whose personal politics do not agree with me, and whose voice is very rude in how she talks about immigrants because she helps them. Among other things, I am the daughter of at least one Japanese foreigner who naturalized to the USA and my US State Actor father. 

Their tone is rude. And instead of the group implementing some type of diversity training for the USA leaders;- I am told to do "Einstillen" for the issue. I am writing this article and posting privately, in the event that a Neo-Nazi or another Anti-Japanese person hands out my personal information or takes it upon themselves to harm me further. 

And, in the hindsight of this group potentially being a Bundestag run front;- I am still uncertain. The trauma-based mind control may be as simple as the image of a Nazi-run Germany. And my unworthiness in being able to secure much in life without God. Though I've managed to write my way through real hate crimes I've survived, I feel that the scrutiny and judgment of some of the leaders are harmful to me. So, again, it's my time that is wasted and my being used as the persecutory example in front of the group. I'm in my mid 40's. This is unacceptable. Yet I post here since I will be told to do Einstillen for it. And I have done Einstillen for the group to be cleansed of its outright hatreds. 

That wasn't what I signed up for. And, like other groups;- it only takes one bad person to do harm to me to end my life. I am grateful for my life and those who helped me survive many many attempts on my life, and to God. Though I don't see safety in this group for me. I cannot martyr myself so that I have peaceable healing since I am criticized for belonging to this and any religious institution that Americans disapprove of. Including Americanized forms of Buddhism.

Wednesday, August 04, 2021

Roasted Yellow Peppers

 There was a surplus of Yellow Peppers as ripe as they could be from 2 cases. 

So today I made some roasted Yellow peppers, brushed with olive oil and doused with a small amount of pepper, fresh basil, and dry basil. Saved a few to have with chili pepper. And, broiled them on the bottom rack until some were slightly brown. They are so sweet and tasty with a small amount of Jasmine rice and shoyu for dinner. This should be plenty for the week. The other peppers are sliced and ready to dip in hummus along with some cucumbers. Bounty of Summer.

My digital underpainting blocked

Yesterday my digital underpainting - acrylic +digital editing was posted 
Though most any painting I did went unmarked. I have a few painted mental 'checkins' I keep.
Some cropped pics of the interesting sections, and a vid of what I did before letting it dry exist.


Saturday, July 31, 2021

My Old Poetry that didn't make sense

 Today, I had a chat with an author about Mind Control and Stargate related technology. So, one of my older tweets from 2018 I made when I returned to the mainland has my college poetry. The part of Torture that i mentioned when writing to the United Nations, is that the perpetrators also had access to all of my belongings in the mainland for most of 9 years. I lost everything that was left at my office in Ithaca, NY. The Landlord, no one ever attempted to call me. And when I was permitted to communicate with my parents;- of course my father happily made sure I would not have my vehicle when I returned. That is one of the other reasons, there is no question in my mind that the father I had was a malicious State Actor. One of the poems is a sonnet entitled 'A Pear Tree Lullaby'. I have other poetry I wrote on an old floppy and zip drive too. I had read some of the poetry at an Eco day poetry reading at college. And some people wondered if I was psychotic, while not knowing that I had been recently diagnosed with Hyperacusis at the Sir Ewig hearing clinic.  

Tuesday, July 27, 2021

Near completed for submission, Score pdf link

The link to my score with accompaniment is at : A Photo in my Mind 

 Today I attempted to record a version of the song for submission. My voice decided for me, that singing in my contralto range felt better than in my Mezzo voice. Something about the mix is definitely unresolved after grinding up my vocal cords to the D5 for a bit. My voice is far far from polished yet it's functional to document my song.  Though getting down to B2 is not where I headed and stopped off near the D2. 

My score is entitled 'Photo in My Mind' for Mezzo and Contralto/Tenor. The range is B2 to G5 and I changed a few notes. I slapped in some German translation, yet the 'in my mind' as Geist or Herz being my favored choices is yet to be worked out. Due to the Use of the Muse3 scoring software, I had some issues with notes moving around and did my best to remove extra notes and rests with the newer commands. However, it didn't work for everything. And yes, I checked the voicing boxes and tried everything to remove extraneous or incorrect markings. 

Emailed April and shared my practice sesh. She basically said it's o.k. and doesn't need to pro-sound recording. I'm simply enthused that I was able to put everything together to this point, even shortening the song to get it finished quickly. Bucket list item since 2004 nearly done, though it's not a CD of my original work I want. As an adult, it's a big heart wish for personal reasons. 

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Song with German translation

 Photo in My Mind;- Tonight --past 20hrs Worked intermittently on Setting my lyrics to German translation in the Score since I have to submit at least a DeepL translation with it:  I put in my English words from the last post;- I had to adjust what I could to fit the music better. And I set at least the soprano part to the lyrics- of S/A+piano ...  Though I'm not sure how involved It's going to get with the piano part... since I have to record myself singing it--video??...and I'm a bit out of practice vocally. I want to finish this first went OCD on it... before I focus on other things.  This still needs some work. But most people with half a brain know that names double up ....if there are 'missing' lyrics. And since we have 'bad English with Pennsylvania Deutsche colloquial structure, I decided to omit extra German syllables in this.  1st two pages were posted... and not done yet. It's for Soprano, Mezzo, Alto, Tenor...maybe bass? The link to the DRAFT that is mostly written is here: "Photo in My Mind" (draft copy) .pdf 

it's not finished. Posting due to the computer being rickety and beeping at me with issues.

Here's the German... there is Japanese that follows that I have yet to do, and Einstillen isn't a word that translated into Katakana. 

Foto in meinem Kopf   

Ich bin schon seit einiger Zeit mit Bruno Groening zusammen.

Sein Foto hat sich in mein Gedächtnis eingebrannt

Und das Einstillen ist seine Art

Ich nehme jeden Tag Heilstrom auf

Bruno Groening mein alter Freund

(Original:) Durch Einsamkeit und Trauer (Ersatz:) Durch Liebe sind wir so gesegnet

Finde ich den Weg zur heilenden Welle

(Original:) Dass Gott heilstrom gemacht hat (Ersatz:) Gott hat uns so gesegnet

Und dann fragte mich eines Tages jemand

Kann ich bei dir mitfahren, mein Freund

Ich habe nicht, was es braucht 

Um dorthin zu gelangen, was ich kann

Durch die Hilfe von jemandem, den ich verehre, --Durch die Hilfe von einem, der verehrt=Through the help of one who adored--translatedfor music

 das ist es, was sie mit Liebe meinten

--That is the meaning of love=Das ist die Bedeutung der Liebe--translated to fit.

Und viele Segnungen kamen 

um auch den Schmerz und das Leid wegzunehmen

--zum entfernen die schmerz und Leiden weg=to remove the pain and suffering away--translated to fit music

Eines Tages hielt ich dein Foto in meinen Händen

Und mein Herz stand so still

 -- Ich hielt Ihr Foto in meinen Händen ein Tag, und mein Herz wurde still=  I held your photograph in my hands one day, and my heart became stillness--translated to fit music

Die Heilung kam schnell eines Tages

Nachdem ich viele Stunden und Monate und Jahre gebetet hatte--The healing came quickly one day 9

After I had prayed

many hours and months and years =Die Heilung kam schnell eines Tages

Nachdem ich gebetet hatte

viele Stunden und Monate und Jahre --translated for music (Die Heilung kam schnell eines Tages 

Nachdem ich gebetet hatte

viele Stunden und Monate und Jahre=The healing came quickly one day 

After I had prayed

many hours and months and years AMK

Ich bin seit einiger Zeit mit Bruno Gröning zusammen--Ich bin mit Bruno Groening=I am with Bruno Groening--translated for music AMK 

Mit seinem Foto, das sich in mein Gedächtnis eingebrannt hat

Gott schickte die göttliche

--God sent the divine=Gott schickte den göttlichen--translatedfor music AM

Meinen Weg zur heilenden Welle finden

Dass Gott so heilstrom gemacht--

Meinen Weg zur heilenden Welle zu finden

Die Gott so heilsam strömenließ=Finding my way to the healing wave

That God made flow so healingly--translated for music AngelaM.Kneale

Here it is in Japanese: 






ブルーノ・グルーニング 私の古い友人

(Original:) 孤独と悲しみを乗り越えて (substitute:) 愛を通して私たちはとても恵まれている


(オリジナル:) 神がハイルシュトレンを作ったこと (代用:) 神が私たちを祝福してくれたこと


















Wednesday, July 21, 2021

2nd draft with melody notes

 This is the song in Treble clef. However, I'm still deciding on mix since I'm more comfortable as an alto.

Things to note for other instruments: 

1. It is in D Mixolydian

2. I wrote for piano and voice.

3. The lyrics open on an ascending minor seventh (a bit unusual)

The range is B3-F5 for this version... and due to deciding the accompaniment, it's not the 100% placement of all the notes yet. I originally sang while vamping in my head voice everything is an octave lower except the scale in line 2. The song is written for Bruno Groening in the Music group. Have a lot to do since there's no Midi keyboard here.   Chord progression with melody is simple without accompaniment. It's in 

The word Groe-ning is on a downbeat with my accompaniment.

The Lyrics and melody...basically - not finished version.

Basic Lyrics after the vamp sesh. - there's more.. yet not needed.

Photo in My Mind

I've been with Bruno Groening for some time
His photograph etched in my mind
And doing Einstillen is his way
I take in heilstrom everyday

Bruno Groening my old friend
(Original:) Through loneliness and grief  (substitute:) Through love we are so blessed
Find my way to the healing wave
(Original:) That God made heilstrom (substitute:) God so made us blessed

And then one day someone asked me
Can I have a ride with you, my friend
I don't have what it takes 
To get there doing what I can

Through the help of some one I adore,
 that is what they meant by love
And many blessings came 
to take away the pain and suffering too

I held your photograph in my hands one day
And my heart it stood so still
The healing came quick one day
After I had prayed many hours and months and years

I've been with Bruno Groening for some time
With his photo etched in my mind
God sent the divine

Find my way to the healing wave
That God so made heilstrom

Monday, July 19, 2021

Draft of Lyrics for Song w/vid

Bruno Groening inspired song... I'm at the piano working this out today. 
Didn't plan to post this vid either, working 1st time over and coming up with lyrics. I cried a lot through this. Also, I'm ditching the negatively programmed word editor for interfering with auto-correct.
This needs to be edited... But it's a start. Will add the video link... Angela Meredith Kneale / Angela Kikuchi Kneale Key of D Major. 

 I've been with Bruno Groening for some time 
Through the loneliness, I did find (a way)
 With this photo-etched in my mind
 God sent the divine
 Bruno Groening my old friend 
Through loneliness and grief
 Find my way to the healing wave
 That God bestowed on us.
 Healing waves to take the pain 
The judgment of people, it does hurt 
Being vulnerable while mending wounds
Every night I go to bed 
A healing photograph inside my head
 An old photograph I saw 
I didn't laugh
 And the healing came one day
 for those who saw a film with friends
 The healing came quick one day
 while I had prayed many hours and months and years.
 Then one day someone asked me: Can I have a ride with you my friend?" 
They didn't have a way to go see this old old man. 
And many blessings came to take away the pain and fear they saw.
I held your photograph in my hands one day
 And my heart, it stood so still. 

 I've been with Bruno Groening for some time 
Through the loneliness, I did find (a way)
 With this photo etched in my mind 
God sent the divine 
Bruno Groening my old friend 
Through loneliness and grief
 Find my way to the healing wave 

 I don't have what it takes my friend to get there doing what I am.
 And then I walked inside with them one small woman and one more 
I was introduced....and shut the door.
 So looking back friend to the day didn't tell you why
 I stayed for a long long time.
 And in this short, short life, I must live each day
 there's a way I ask, to God to see me through.
 And in this short life, I was given. 
I only had a task or two.
 I've been with Bruno Groening for so long
 My friends, I found my way to you.

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Lyrics exercise Saturday July 17

Still lacking inspiration. ... yet wrote a couple of blocks of poetry. Moon Fallen Vampish... send your heart to me, wrap it in a chocolates' box, and scribble LOVE in red dribbles Do you know where I am? Did you write my address first? You know what I love. That you know, You know how I like things That you will live for me after I taste your chocolates that red sweet dribble after I drift through excitement & Bliss sinking my teeth into you, are, sweet yet so so live without a faint heartbeat reflecting on my ears no more nightmares no more fears we will live beyond the Sun's drenched tears Kissing your heart Travelling Red Astronaut Like you alot Living kind through infinite time. Angela Kikuchi Kneale Aloha by Angela Kikuchi Kneale Once upon a dream in neverending eden Sun gazeing pierces my soul with solar waves Charging my heart I need an inspirational restart Rushing my heart emotional lights & darks overwhelmed memories my inherit sin protected by immortal wings Your smile etched into my burning heart I diverge into the dark black hole penetrates the depth of my soul Rushing my heart Emotional lights & darks Run through my heart and fly me to the sun (Burn with fire the wretched human.)

Friday, July 09, 2021

Independent Lyric writing exercise... July 2021 week1

Decided to work towards writing one song, with lyrics. This was my goal when I went to Hawaii for a long vacation. However, things are quite fragmented right now (11 years later) That's how much USA intel has wrecked my life. They have hated me being in classical music, and I've mentioned some of who 'they' are in my one US affidavit. By Angela Kikuchi Kneale - after random rhyming blocks... new block Hiroshima images?: Like Gothic raindrops We/I/You Haven't forgot fellennnn, fallen out image (sitting under a pavillion) sold into oblivion embedded with breath soul essence effect explosively bright dark fragments ignite splatters my skin dark/dew droplets of sin cry tears of nuclear years/ irradiation and rise after night ... forplay of war --- {end new block7/9/2021} Walking high above the clouds. I woke My soul is tattered My heart beat scattered End of the succession that defies How many lifes did they take for you? Defies natural profression Tearing my soul apart one more time around to fix it what is this a demon's tricks? Dissolves pain that made my heart nearly obliterate Shielded my heart from your games directors and demons preachers and sermons my heart compounded by these calloused walls. surrounded by killers... compartmentalized pillars Lie wake with my eyes wide open to my soul inside. Points in time in quantum mind You think you cling wait for the clock to sing quantum mind I swing from my immortal thread. Lie awake in bed (repeat) My adventures never been said never tell the tales of what we did Lie wake with my eyes wide open to my soul inside Points in time in my mind. Some people? live they talk and sing reminding the static of how they cling to life to life every day is certain never do much more than pull back a shower curtain ------------------------------------ immortality is a frequency like any other have you tuned in turned on? all is pitch my mind my mind didn't design a body of time your soul controlled if i had another life that is karma free I'd come back to visit and set ___________free we liberate, we liberate dissolve locks Open doors did you think you'd see my face? through time and space beings are free Walk through my gate demons don't lurk or wait... compassionately you're running out of time. Lonely you're haunting my sleep frequency glitch our timelines fixed love love love. eternal betrothed Once upon, Once upon...a dream....a dream (repeat fade in) I felt my love's immortal breath survived how many lifetimes. Until our once upon a time storybook ends. We walk through sands of time only you and I survive my salvation is it holy? do i live for you?

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Retracing Racial Norms

Sample slides of the Presentation

 "Retracing racial norms: Politics and it's impact on modern diversity training"  is a brief overview of my viewpoint. Recent "anti-Asian" hate crimes diversity training seemed to lightly address common racist views. And, I don't believe from my own experience that people are independently being mindful after the diversity trainings. Some, are going through recent required trainings and lashing out with hostility anyway.   My opinions are due to the contents of diversity training impacting my "international" life as a family member in a foreign family. And because of this fact, my opinions diverge from the popular domestic trends. As a lifelong activist, and "mixed race" Asian- American, I find that academics who have not lived through decades of hate crimes don't represent my views. So, This is my presentation of the not "sugar coated"  version of diversity related issues. And, is not so academic as I have forged my path outside of US institutional abuses. 

There is a pdf version that Will be made available with the full presentation deck.