Thursday, October 24, 2019

Missing the Beautiful everything I left behind for the mainland. Personalities, peoples, women, Hapa kids, Kai side, mauka, clothes or lack of clothes, beautiful in everyway smiling through the days, enjoying the coolness of the nights.

Hawaii, almost 10years there for me and there is like nothing left here on the mainland. Already with wonder setting on after the gold and red leaves change into a crisp bare frigid dawn... Finding some way to survive everything I'm reacting to inside.

The carb loaded foods here, even too much peanut butter with mold and I can't breathe with the heating blowing through the office rooms. My eyes tearing from the dust like I scorched them with hot peppers. Even though I detoxed 3yrs from toxic mold. >.<
I'm wondering how I. Going to die. Alone?too cold? Winter's end last year I slept outside in my truck below 45°. I need the fresh air for real. Too many battles....and a boom to write. Not making enough, not safe here at night.

Prayers to show me my path. Back to Oahu? Somewhere where I love my life more.

Cooking today

my Shockers:
Strawberry scorpion tofu mole stuffed peppers aka Shockers"

Spirulina acai cookies

Organic roasted beets