Tuesday, June 25, 2019

My life story;- saying good bye to USA for good reasons.

Facing my elderly parents, who "had me late' is, One of the saddest things I've had to endure about life in the USA.
I used to be hopeful everyday that things would improve. As a Nisei kid in a community devoid of Any Asians aside from Hapa kids like myself I was isolated.
I didn't have friends. Not at any respectable level to constitute a comfortable birthday party of 5.
In fact, my 9th birthday was the last party I had. It was my mom's white friends children who attended. They belittled and ridiculed my Asian-Japanese features and my father punished me for trying to stand up for myself. I will never forget that day as I hid behind the birds nest shrubs crying curled up on the mulch at my own birthday party.
My mother thought this was ok to support throughout my life.
So now it's 30yrs later and my parents are now more stubborn, violent, and rotten hearted to me than normal. And, it comes after I had to call in the death of my brother BEFORE I got to see his mangled head that morning. Later, I got to Hawaii and actually filled a police report about my sister being murdered in front of my mother prior to my birth. There are no statute of limitations on murder. Yet my father didn't report the incident. My mother was tortured and the community made her out to be a good slave they bossed around and therefore an acceptable 'stupid immigrant'.
My mother took great offense to everyone's comments but didn't want to return to Japan a looser.
I think she lost her mind along the way. She was tortured in a hospital. My USA father was delighted and horrible to me when she was in the hospital. It was something he seemed to take pleasure in. Yet once in a while he changed personality and tried to pretend to care in a heartfelt way.
It's now some 30yrs behind me and nothing about my father's intentions sits well with me. Nothing about his friendships & what he told me was appropriate.
I suppose, in retrospect, it makes me see why my expectations from white people are so low. I place their astute and affluent in the same category with violent felons & dirty homeless. None are trustworthy. They are all vile.
Even though I have had a few scant acqauintences remain in my life;- the bulk of my network is well outside the east coasters who are absolutely rotten in essence. The 'good ones' are people I can compare only to their protected gang rapists. Heed my warning that the United States than it is in a Muslim nation for me.
The USA covered up many heinous stories.
The white men who were 'good to me' in Hawaii don't act close to the same here. So please understand they are attempting to "butter up" the community on Oahu by their positive actions.
They only send the creepiest of creeps at me here in NY & PA. The types of men who do rape, stalk, & harm women as untouchables in their communities.
Except for me, my story will conclude soon. I simply am not up for another fight with these ugly men & their women who see me as a quiet victim. I swear it is because the women are more racist than anyone, as I have no good friends from College, University, or grade school.
I literally wasted my lifetime to document the reality behind the lies my mother told to keep a happy face.