Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Today a thought- all draft as usual

Because I wanted to help, I bought a little trinket, maybe a stone or a rock, basket or indigenous frock. Then that person got more ambitious and used the money to get hardware to kill a whale or the last of some last extinct species, or one noone in globalist english had discovered. That person got into a fight on a boat, killed someone with a knife bought. A chain reaction of death took part. Eminated from the distant land & echoed out, into some ungodly War.

Then I thought again. I went without. Found the significance was something I could live without.
That species survived and balanced others who needed, good vibe. And things were pleasant. Everyone in a good way, at home not envying others who get paid.
Life moves us

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Hearing issue, Hyperacusis

Do not play loud! HF warning!!! HF range vanishes/ out of range while holding key before the other tones!!!
It is a sound wave that descends, maintains drone with subtle ascending variable, carries ascending HF simultaneously. It sounds like an airplane engine (plane crashing slowly) with a monk's voice changing pitch. 3 frequencies on 1 sound, key depressed more than a few seconds till HF range vanishes & my ear hurt.

Dangerous sound, my superhearing hack (superhearing a disability under Hyperacusis) I created in soundlab in 1999 at Music College.
Uncertain if complete & I may have on reel to reel still.

HF warning!!! Can be painful or damaging to hearing!

[PATCH] sheet from 1999
Hold Control on =A,B,C,D
Velo curve A=03, B=02, C=04, D=01
Rate A=59, B=74, C=74, D=74
Delay A=REL, B=40, C=40, D=40 TONE A
Filter mode = HPF high pass
Cutoff Frequency = 99
Resonance = 45
ENV depth = 48
Cutoff KF = 35
LFO select = 02
LFO depth = +19

TVF Envelope
Time 1 = 11
Level 1= 100
Time 2 = 78
Level 2 = 0
Time 3 = 2
Sus Level = 4
Time 4= 11
Level 4 = 65

Level =52
Bias direction = Lower
Bias point = C#1 (C#-1)
Bias level = 04
LFO select = 1
LFO depth = -45

Velo sens = +18
Time velo = -30
Time KF = 00

Thursday, February 14, 2019

I need protection immediately

My father is not a studious man.
He is very much about his guns and ammo, a Pro NRA supporter & proud of his marksman. He enjoys the white privilege of destroying my life. And, acts appropriately on under direction of his attorney or friends, many who have egged him on to throw me on the street.
He, As a handler who beta programmed me since childhood;-
He took nude photos of me, as a toddler when he had an open printing shop his own printing business BCG.
He dropped me off at different people's homes in the middle of the night
Also he used to play with me when I was in bed and tell me he wanted me to be good at sex. All by age 9 with extreme physical abuse to the point I blacked out from both hi. & My mother handler. She did not abuse me as much until her return from the Hospital.
He used to tell me that if I ever meet the right guy I'm to tell him "im a poster child for MKULTRA and to use my initials."
My mother abused me and hid behind her surgeries. She abused me daily, taking over after my father stopped abusing me every single day. It was not normal physical abuse. She dragged me on the floor & down the stairs nearly daily. They got off on beating me and used to smile and laugh when they did so.

I personally want to file old child abuse charges on them that have been impeded due to my "race & national origin" because of my remote location as well. However, that seems hopeless due to all interest being against me;- area attorneys & locals making money from Child trafficking & drug trafficking.
My own father has joked many times about the good ol'days with his military buddies dropping bails of "dope" from the C130's, running spooks & bombing overseas villages & people outside of wartime in several different nations.

He was not an " appropriate" father figure and we had very few positive interactions with his extended family.
My mother has chosen to go along with him on even very offensive notes in order to maintain what she values as an acceptable marriage.

Today, I am very uncertain that I can remain alive with the knowledge I have of his friends & shooting buddies that bring weapons to the house in my absence.

They do not interact with me as normal reasonable people. I had hoped that their age changed them.
They have also done extensive Fina call and emotional damage to my life permanently. And, there are no apologies. Since my mother's family in Japan does not want the complications of my parents decisions;- they are excluded from this posting as an appropriate audience.

My personal documentation of this matter is over 40yrs of MKultra style abuses since before my Mother naturalized to the USA.
As I began blogging due to issues I posted at the onset of the PAtriot Act, my father and the US military or feds have "changed" the prior USA documentation of my mother's immigration & hid or destroyed an original copy of one of my proof of birth that was vital to my proving his affiliation with some Occult/Cult that took the blood sacrifice of my sister prior to my birth.

Vegan Cream aka V2 (frozen)

Vegan bartender making  custom drinks in 2003

This one is a Frozen Vegan Cream  I used to serve up in repurposed 1/2 yards and take to my neighborhood friends. my daquiri substitute.

named : V2
3count vodka
7 count Bacardi Gold
Balance with Very Vanilla Soy delicious
Add frozen strawberries

Wednesday, February 06, 2019

Rainbow Heaven

Long time ago...
Rainbow heaven running through my head
Went to my pen
Then vanished again.
Rainbow is it found make the world ur greenest playground. r.H. How is it made?
Free creatures, trees...go unseen

turn night from black to green.

Run wild in city streets
Invoke the animal who doesn't eat quite a task

Monday, February 04, 2019

Body all crumpled up
Like Its thrown away
I watch the living
Like I'm hunting prey

I'm wearing all the things
They got them through
Figured it help me
See this battle through

And I rise up
After they passing through
Picking my target
Like I'm shopping for shoes

Sunday, February 03, 2019

Meditation changed my life

30 years ago, I used to just meditate. I never thought it was a cure. Since I started, I found It is a cure when done correctly.

Meditation 1st, takes away the societal stress the ego puts on our souls.

Meditation 2nd, focus creates a flawless place away for our soul to experience freedom.

Meditation 3rd, is where our soul & body can achieve healing;- let go of sickness & complications entirely. Give them to God to amend.

Saturday, February 02, 2019

I painted my heart for you
On a cardboard box
Thinking I know,
I'm not even art.

It became my whole world.
So vibrant it glows
While my life becomes cold.

Blue sky & clouds they blurred
White caps & surge.

My heart it pulsed red yellow green
Took my vibe to the ocean dream

About My heartwish:
Just so you know, before I came I asked God if I can go in a beautiful way. I didn't come, expecting to stay. I think of finding my way
Back Home,
Every Day.
There was a beautiful spot,
admired & respected by intellectual thought.
Not to ruin the fun,
just adoration in
the last jump.

I think of the days 
When it was about strong hearts
Our hearts that could withstand the pain
That life pours on
So we can see the wrong witness the dying of Innocents
Lost under the drone
Monotonous life making money Having an ego
& Some good food .
Today it's about fighting or holding up this big dark cloud
Before it comes crashing down
On everybody.
Some grasping at straws 
Are leaving the good 
To wreck ALL

Just for a little money

All the same as it was back then;- ALlot more damage 
To keep on going,... To keep on going 
I wonder where those strong hearts went
Or if they joined the struggle to pay the rents.
And paying the debts of our parents gen
(To the) the souls that demand a balance 
From before our grandparents. I wonder where all the strong hearts went
Demand for a truthful justice
While on the run
From the dark cloud
  Taking down the strongest ones.
So they could hurt the rest
It's gotten so bad,
my handler rents got to believing in miracles & magic.
They believed the lies
Woke up realizing there.
Ain't nothing else left.
Reality is gone.
Having power, promised a lie 
Their bodies got old so they are feeling the pain 
not quite ready to shrivel up and die. All my friends are gone Suicided for real Life's taken without fear
so their souls weren't stolen
Or contorted to be a form
they weren't warranted to be born with 
My eyes are torn.
From the sights I've seen
The horrors MK ultra's CIA created for me
My eyes they're torn
From the images of war
The cold hungry and poor
I'd rather tear the illuminati bill
And start doing things for real
More save more (lives)
Today we got more Strong hearts saving money
It more of the old norm
What happened to the strong hearts Where did they go
My eyes are torn
I cannot hear anymore
Seems the struggle went...
Many just grasping for a scent
Of someone they loved before
My heart knows that feeling....
Before my eyes, they tore
Burst forth with a flood Drowned, like thousands of one/lives In cold red blood, The sunset or Dawn
It keeps on coming...