Monday, June 18, 2018

My Martial arts reflection

Today, I retaliated against my boredom & started dusting off my Hawaiian yoga mat. Out of shape even after taking Mark Divine's course last year. After 20yrs...I did some basics for some of my prior Senseis &  Professors 80 crunches with toe touch to partial roll, about 80-90 Foot sweeps making marks in sand & water in the surf.
I tried the shrimpie exercises in the relatively still ocean, hands behavior behind back & ankles locked 3x  to shore from 15-20" out. It was interesting to watch my breath control, and make a serious adjustment. Then treaded water for 25min -- I should have a weight for this.
After 20yrs of intermittent martial arts & street defense seminars, I only have left 1 dirty white belt & an Israeli Krav 1 diploma somehow with E. Yanilov's  signature on it. and a Kajukembo Yellow belt issued at the Founder's funeral, and an Orange belt in Kempo from Allemany's line. Pretty pathetic since I'm a female & part Japanese.

Oh well, I'm not much of a fighter anyway & prone to non-violent literature and past actions involving me getting pinned under a car. Or wearing an ice vest in a Mylar Fish costume in 90 degree weather to protest Bass Masters.
20 years---

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Perspective in evening

God gave the Humans the Earth to live on. Somehow, despite the Grand design, the Humans managed to shorten the viability of the Planet sphere.
The Bible says God spoke to Adam & Eve and said, I give you a planet to live on.
That just doesn't too often in the history of the human species.

Not long afterwards, God returned to the Earth & asked the humans why they did what they did to destroy the Earth.
The humans asked for God's forgiveness and a new planet.
The End.

Gaslighting & MK Healing

I think the most difficult thing in trying to heal from Occultic Abuse & MK protocols is keeping my finances in reasonable status. I grew up in the countryside of Bucks County only about 1mile from the Rosacrucians Ceremonial Grounds & at the home of my late Great- Grandmother. The troughs & wells of traumatic memories do bring me into a downward spiral. I don't want to interact with others, I feel very underprivileged in life when I revisit the trauma. And then, my reputation at this point in my 40+yes of life has virtually been destroyed by the last handler & attempts on my life here in Hawaii.
Normal people just don't know how much sheer abuse it is to go through. Plus, there are an excessive amount of perps on the island. So the gaslighting that is predominant by the handler's & perps is magnified. My parent's actually seemed to get an energy rush for as long as I can remember from gaslighting me. Before I learned the term gaslighting, I used to tell people my parents lie to me about my own life. My mother used to tell me "they" told her what to say. Gaslighting that I was bad as a toddler deserving 50+ lashes from my father's 3" thick leather belt seemed to make him happy. Gaslighting that I didn't graduate from College, when my diploma was present & I was permitted to walk twice since I did an extra environmental organizing program at a different University & would have missed the friends I made in my planned graduating class.
My father didn't like me online & used gaslighting on me as I sat in the office at the house working on an accelerated Masters degree after I worked for IT entrepreneur Fred Gross at his home office on his 3rd IT startup and who created PeopleSoft.
My parents have been detrimental to my progress in life. They have stated they want me to lie for them like a reasonable person if I am to have anything. Their gaslighting and abuse has also resulted in my parents stealing an over $40k piano library I had expected to keep throughout my life, among many other things I worked and paid for. And, their insanity they impress on me has financially been detrimental.
I don't need to say my to MK  survivors who understand the sheer greed many parents have from putting their kids through MK protocols. It seems to be a common thread that parents somehow made financial gains by abusing their children for the program and we survivors and children of these lunatics are left without much to cope with in life.
In some sense our parents are victims of the program, however;- in attempting to recover from MK programs, it is a very Rocky road financially. To see who people are, to identify their addiction to less attractive & violent tendencies. The abuses I mentioned are just a couple of the daily ritual abuse I anticipated each day. No, hitting a toddler daughter with a belt till she blacks out is not a hand. Yet the abuse was relentless.
They don't love me, they never have loved me. And I hate to say this but there is no such thing as "tough love". There is no payment, there is no financial glory for the victim of MK. There is only trying to put an end to these programs. It included especially my 1st piano teacher in Quakertown who told my mother about veganism & keeping my brain functioning cleanly and to abuse me like Beethoven to be more successful with my life.  I do mean this program ran the course of my life in public and including the schools & churches. The teachers beat me in elementary school with paddles that were 3-5'long with holes for bad handwriting and threatened to beat my hands with rulers till they were red. They called me derogatory names in front of the class, they told me I'd go to hell at church and attempted to murder me at church, in earshot of my brother who they physically tortured. All the other children saw this as acceptable and participated in the group abuse. Noone ever stood up for me in my life. Noone.

The neighbors I had were an Irish national & English national couple, Rosacrucians family relatives, crazed right wing godparents who shot my cat. I mean really rotten people since I'm Japanese. They really lividly hate Japan and mocked my mother in my presence. Nothing was sacred. Nothing.
My mom's Atlantic City friends insisted on touching me and I refused, she told me I'd get extra beatings if I didn't comply. So, the daily abuse was not chemically induced. I remember much of it clearly.
My parents & their community have never treated me like a thinking, intelligent, human being. They simply pummeled me with gaslighting perceptions my entire life. Never arranged graduation parties or birthday parties and tried to force friendships on me with kids of parents they we're friends with-- probably from the program since I never saw these people together elsewhere, or at church, etc.

People don't have sympathy for people like me. Especially since my mom's family is abroad. I was brought up to be bait and attract the scourge of the Earth since I don't have a family or relationships with others that are friendships.

All of my friends in college backed away when they learned my partner of 9yrs who graciously stuck with me after I was drugged and gang raped by coworkers at a potluck;- that I had basically been adopted by the real NY Underground who owned cops in NYC and were connected to the Clinton Boys of major funding supporters. I was never permitted to keep my money I made from jobs/work to pay my bills. He controlled everything and I was to give him cash after cashing checks immediately. Any money I made with him on jobs with his company in Landscape architecture was controlled by him & his mother. When I finally had the guts to leave him, I was penniless.
I thought I had escaped though. I was wrong. I don't have much to look forward too, and my parents have no remorse for harming me. They revert to new forms of gaslighting & abuse when I'm around that have more recent years involved a gun. So, they are not reasonable people with me.
I know this diminished my financial health so badly, I'm not sure how to continue to live these days.
Hawaii is full of new Asian program refuse that enjoys being posited in handlers' positions. They see the money & benefits of being sex workers in part as unimpeded success. So the perpetrators, Gangstalking programs, pimps, DeepState law enforcement participation, judges, use of illegal Psychotronic weapons and more have been relentless here in Honolulu County.
I'd like to conclude this with some reasonable way to financially hold together while trying to heal. It's been 2years for me and I have little to show for the healing I've done, except that I am alive.
I don't have a partner out here in Hawaii. Noone is trustworthy in that sense since they plug the sex trade out here, plus they gaslight or bring perps into my space who gaslight. Difficult to heal with continued intruders.  Even the healing group was perped by the CIA and one foreign woman moved into a CIA owned home.

So, being outdoors has been the only way to get some peace (discounting the remote Entrainment I was trained to be aware of). HAWAII'S been awful, so instead of working at some hostess bar or strip club that won't allow me to heal;-
I've been at the bottom picking up randomly dropped gift cards to get a meal. Literally, I pray alot. And there isn't much to look forward too.

What has changed is that I can keep the MK trauma monkey mind under control a little better & let those thoughts float by with mindful acknowledgement. It does entail I take time away from the bad environments where money is a fast solution. I got here due to Entrapment. So, I have poverty or abuse to choose from.
The men that come my way normally aren't "rescuer" types. They aren't the type to include me in a social group to get connected with others & make friendships either. So, it has been a really lonely 8 years.

Friday, June 15, 2018

Hawaii State intended to harm me.

The flagrant abuse or torture of my family in the USA has been an issue for my Japanese National relatives in Japan for quute some time. Hawaii has many Japanese who like to harm me & claim that the Steel industry of Japan  had nothing to do with Hiroshima & Nagasaki being bombed. They basically try to  add harm & give depth to the USA attacks that they approve of by their outright acts of sexual harassment, community abuse & other instances against me. This is despite my Aunt who uses our abuse & deaths as her neices and nephew as justification of being anti-USA. 
This example which is sadly very real has torn me apart to no end over the past few years. I tried to contain it, however the huge disgrace Hawaii has caused internationally is not my choice and is not in my ability to fight alone. Regardless of my family's international relations.
So to be fair, and before I am forced suicided by anyone in Hawaii I am posting this traumatic story.

I had no choice but to file a Human Rights Complaint to leave a minor paper trail to denote the death threats from two millionaires of 4 different agents directed at me at the time. The collective actions of
Hawaii State & it's security/law enforcement, Liquor Commission, & Korean Israeli business woman had crossed way beyond a simple minor violation of my human rights. They not only threatened my life, but coerced & paid for the abortion of a child I was carrying near the 12th week.
It was not only painful, but I was also further abused.
The Human Rights commission in Honolulu switched investigators, never really interviewed me either and I assumed took a payoff from those being directly investigated.
This did involve:- A male Hawaii Business owner and ATF/HPD agent who later claimed he was looking for a big drug dealer in NY. This had Nothing to do with me, especially since I had left NY State 4years before my encounter with this HPD Nacotics agent. Also, a female Korean- Israeli Strip Club and Church owner who was known to run a full sting operation at her club. And outside, a male former personal assistant to Johnny Depp as well as another ex Federal agent of some branch I cannot mention.
The other male apparently had gone to rehab and reappeared months later giving a spoken visual facial recognition tour of Honolulu to some MS-13 looking tattooed friend of his from the rehab.

Thursday, June 14, 2018

AMK projects

Some catch phrases & odds & ends
I remember...from my upbringing.

"Bring it back."
I was able to integrate, at least for a short time, my memory of being in quantum body conciousness & returning to human body conciousness.  Also, I was able to retain some instructions given to me under programming)handler command from my subconcious to my concious state of being. This eventually was called defiance disorder by Dr. Joel Elkes of John Hopkins since i frequently would not act upon their instruction.
Part of my upbringing was overall different than other MK Ultra victims. I am conciously aware of the female presence of handler NOT installing Marionette altar and being quite specific that I was not to be a puppet. I was taken aside & this was explained to me. Additionally, I was able to sometimes use chi in my bedroom to move objects to me. Though I actually perceived it as extending my reach with my photonic energy to grasp an object as heavy as a book. This eventually went away.
The Psychotronic induced/entrained skill sets were how I "safely" worked out my quantum perception.
The ritual physical abuse I had daily was something that I learned to be non-reactive to. It had become a routine part of my day at varying degrees. & From different people.
It was physical abuse to the point of blackout or sometimes till I learned to stop crying. After years of this I understood crying or emotional reaction to the beatings only prolonged the abuse. So it was my fault if I cried.
Some resemble what Mossad deemed as so called illegal & I experienced as an adult in Hawaii from a Krav Maga Instrructor who is also a Ninjitsu instructor. Basically severe rocking of my neck by hair jerking & being dragged down stairs by my hair, or as in Hawaii having my head beaten into a truck seat.
My parents mentioned that it was to bring me up in the harshest environment possible. That they somewhat agreed with the  experience is the only way to create a survival instinct. This obviously spills into becoming a precog or having precognative abilities develop.
As a child I was also given the reasoning as to why they did what they did to me. I didn't sleep at my parents house many nights either. I was woken up late at night and had a small suitcase packed to take with me. I only remember being dropped off at my neighbor's home, where the Grandson of Rosacrucianer AMORC Clymer now resides. The reason was because my mom was hospitalized & my dad worked night shift since he sold his printing business when my mother was diagnosed with "terminal" cancer, though she was tortured and misdiagnosed & probably experimented on due to location of her scars & her behavior:- now that I am aware of this CIA/USAF type illegal MK program. Dr. Mangan was the only doctor's name I heard during that time and my father told me he was instructed to tell me my mother had already died, before slamming a door in my face and leaving me to myself. My brother was still a toddler, so I was 6-7yrs old.

Later in elementary school my parents explained to me through story about my name. That they were given my initials & my mother was upset she was not allowed to give me a Japanese name. And, they told me Noone would help me & It was to defer any special privledge. So instead we were set up by USAF/CIA for illegal mind control experimentation & execution, as my older sister before me was murdered at the Quakertown Hospital  & buried in Valley Forge in 1970's before my birth. My brother sustained several injuries & attempts on his life for the 26 years he was alive, the earliest leg cast he had was at age 3. None of these people in my community have ever had any regard for my well being too much, especially not how I feel and if I'm happy. They have always talked to me as a "mud" which is racially derogatory as much as their hatred of Japan.

"Communicate without communicating" was a common theme. So was my father attempting to empower me with a photographic memory with number sets. I used to flagrantly fail at some tasks just because I had no other control in my life. I had a regular schedule & had to staand up for & defend my brother at the babysitter's because she hated us quite livid, but liked getting paid. She was quite racist & abusive to both of us. I had become suicidal by age 10 and my mom explained that if I couldn't take the abuse I shouldn't complain & kill myself since I also served my Emporer in Japan. I was aware of my duty as a family member & Umare no nihonjin at a young age 4.
I deliberated my suicide with the large vegetable knife while sitting on the daybed my Obasan & Ogesan used when they had visited us in Bucks County. So, I basically took alot of beatings from the various adults I & my brother encountered so much that I decided I could only continue my young life if it meant my brother would not have such punishment. So, for him, I didn't seppuka at age 10. He was the only happy soul in my family.
At age 7 I tried to make my parents get a divorce just to cut my punishments in half. I thought my mom would have had a better chance finding someone or return to Japan if my parents got divorced. So, in some sense, I quadrupled my punishment & my mom's wrath.
My father, at Dr. Mangan's instruction, told me she had died so I didn't recognize her when she returned from the hospital. She had gone through chemo & other strange operations that made her unable to stand up well. So, in bad form as a kid I told her she wasn't my mom. She was enraged. And, the punishments against me only worsened as I was perceived to be an unappreciative child. It wasn't until my brother's death that I shared what my father said to me when she was at the hospital. I don't think she had Naturalized to the USA at that point. Me, my brother, And my mom were all Japanese citizens and prevented from communicating in our Japanese Language. They even came into my bedroom one day and took my Japanese story books away that I loved. I liked the story of two men with the bumps on their faces. And the coy with three wishes.
But they replaced these stories with American stories. "Could be worse" was the book I got to justify the bad treatment from everyone.
There were no kids my age either. Not near where I lived. So I was quite isolated from a normal USA upbringing.

Entrainment dream Multiverse

I woke all cramped & grateful for my natural Hawaii surroundings.
The dream last night to this morning was so vivid & militant I could only guess it was entrainment from some of 5 nearby radio towers (within a block) or some fragment of Earth's future.
One I was inside a barn inside a school bus like vehicle (I sketched out and isn't a school bus. It's an observation room with a partial horizontal sized window of thick glass) the barn had em from the exterior. It seems so dark that it could be an empty mineshaft large enough to hold 80 or so people who were killed with this EM., we were being followed, tracked by drones.
They found us, they being cyborg human soldiers & their remote ai drone mechanisms. I had just gotten on the bus and was looking at the people surrounding us. Then, in a short instance a white light like wave hit them. I quantum to witness the wave movement & behavior. It was a wave that didn't behave normally and was quite sensitive to bend at each human in location like individual warps forming. I witnessed the wave form's movement through the crowd of unsuspecting humans. There was no frequency of anger or being hunted to pull  from for the trained precog. There was simply a breach of locaTion and then total EW infiltration.
And just as we were pulling away from the parking spot inside the barn. I think I witnessed 50+ humans who got killed by this pulse after the makeshift compound was compromised.
They kill relentlessly.
Hundreds & thousands of people this way.
In between segway, I saw my mom & my dad. My mom insisted on being outside working with her plants. I asked my dad if she is aware of the damage these new enemies can do. The enemies can arrive at any time & seem to kill indiscriminately.

In a secondary dream, later date? I was at a military compound where sheets of iron had been made. A driver/soldier made a large armored transport. It was at least a train car long. I was standing on sheets of oxidized iron held together by thick, riveted 3" iron seams. The armored train was covered in a similar fashion without windows, which I was excited about when shown the work.
In hindsight, My excited state disturbed the EW/EM plane.
I went aboard the transporter. I was told this one compartment is most important;- A Refrigeration unit compartment, covered in sheet iron over the door & interior. Only a stainless freezer locker handle indicated what is there. Uses for the cold transport: body cooler to evade EM thermal & for body parts & for the injured.
I then took my seat behind the driver. I looked at him and as we were about to leave, a sound of a ricochet bullet hit him. Still in Entrainment mode, I realized they accessed my eyesight to gain his location coordinate. I felt betrayed by myself and the dream ended.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Hawaii is end

It is sad.
My family in Japan is part of Zaibatsu.
Yet Americans extort, Rob, file lawsuits & made my life unbearable trying to extract Japan's wealth.
This is why USA illuminati is my enemy, why Rosacrucians are my enemy, even Boule is likey to be my enemy here in the United States.
They make threats every time I have attempted a lucrative position.

Yet I still am expected to answer their dullard question about whether or not I speak Japanese? How many of them speak Japanese? How am I expected to keep my original language when surrounded by I'll educated American business workers in retail industries & employees with limited scope?
It's been a life of torture from these people.
The ghosts & flies have a better understanding of energy.