Friday, December 09, 2022

Oregano/Mint in my Pauoa Valley Vegan Chile

There are several names for this plant I used in Hawaii called "oregano" or "mint". It's akin to the black salt I used Hawaiian black salt (combo of activated coconut charcoal and Hawaii sea salt) and NOT the sulfur-infused Kala namak the black salt from Pakistan. In the Hawaii rainforest, it grew in cascades over the rock/stone retaining walls of our garden. Once in a while things were cleared out or cut back, leading to a large pile of fresh leaves. Instead of the mana going to waste, I decided to blanch the thick fleshy oregano leaves into 2-3 pounds for freezing. (enough to pack a larger Freezer bag) And, then craving a chile opted to use these blanched leaves for a base instead of pure tomato. There is a very long list of names for this large-leafed oregano or mint used in folk medicine (2) in over 20 countries from Asia to Europe, South America, and tropical islands. 

Latin name: Plectranthus Amboinicus, Variegated or Lamiacaea:

Names used across the world or Synonyms in romaji for Plectranthus Amboinicus (1):  Thick leaf thyme, broad leaf thyme, Indian Borage, Pashan Bhedi, Karpooravalli, Patharchur, Torbangun, Daun Kutjing, Daun bangun-bangun, Pokok bangun-bangun, Latai, Suganda, Oregano, Puerto Rican oregano brujo, Cuban oregano, Sup mint, French thyme, Indian mint, Hom duan huu suea, Niam huu suea, Indian Borage, Country borage, Spanish thyme, Mexican mint, French thyme, Indian mint, Can day la, French thyme, Spanish thyme, Broad-leaf thyme. 

mild Pauoa Valley Chile (2016) at Vegan Rainforest Chile -bio hack- (2016) Pauoa Valley, Hawaii 

Additionally, after searching for common names for the Hawaii Oregano or mint to bring clarity to my recipe;- On 12/08/2022 I attended a Dr. Tau Braun Q& A. (Yesterday in terms of relation to this article). He mentioned terpenoids in some approaches to treating snake venom. When I was in Hawaii during this time June 2013-2018 several random people used to approach me and say "Hawaii doesn't have snakes." If you want to call these people perps of DoD gangstalking please do. So I took a quick look into searching for terpenoids with this Oregano, Plectranthus Amboinicus, and found a di-terpenoid (4) correlation. 

"The leaves of the plant are often eaten raw or used as flavoring agents, or incorporated as ingredients in the preparation of traditional food. The literature survey revealed the occurrence 76 volatiles and 30 non-volatile compounds belonging to different classes of phytochemicals such as monoterpenoids, diterpenoids, triterpenoids, sesquiterpenoids, phenolics, flavonoids, esters, alcohols and aldehydes."(4)

Then was quickly bound a correlating to Snake venom with Plectranthus Amboinicus article(5)  in the scientific article search. Though this is not my area of academic knowledge, I know that the time of the onset of my symptoms June 2013- November 2013 was when I made this vegan Plectranthus Amboinicus Chile recipe. I visited a homeopathic nutritionist in the early spring of 2014 and had gone for allergy testing at the hospital by the time my biotoxin illness was attributed to my severe issues of the biomechanical shutdown.  It is well documented since the 1960s and 1970s that Hawaii is a known DoD research experiment on the non-consenting public. I lived with very friendly people at the time, where some transient businessmen who contracted with the Feds for Hawaii infrastructure also resided. All of us at the property probably was exposed to natural or unnatural bio-toxins.


  1. Arumugam G, Swamy MK, Sinniah UR. Plectranthus amboinicus (Lour.) Spreng: Botanical, Phytochemical, Pharmacological and Nutritional Significance. Molecules. 2016 Mar 30;21(4):369. doi: 10.3390/molecules21040369. PMID: 27043511; PMCID: PMC6274163.

2. Lukhoba CW, Simmonds MS, Paton AJ. Plectranthus: a review of ethnobotanical uses. J Ethnopharmacol. 2006 Jan 3;103(1):1-24. doi: 10.1016/j.jep.2005.09.011. Epub 2005 Nov 9. PMID: 16289602.

3. "Three oreganos to know and grow" from Hawaii Horticulture, A Blog about gardening and plants in Hawaii.

4. Arumugam G, Swamy MK, Sinniah UR. Plectranthus amboinicus (Lour.) Spreng: Botanical, Phytochemical, Pharmacological and Nutritional Significance. Molecules. 2016 Mar 30;21(4):369. doi: 10.3390/molecules21040369. PMID: 27043511; PMCID: PMC6274163.

5. Villalta-Romero F, Gortat A, Herrera AE, Arguedas R, Quesada J, de Melo RL, Calvete JJ, Montero M, Murillo R, Rucavado A, Gutiérrez JM, Pérez-Payá E. Identification of new snake venom metalloproteinase inhibitors using compound screening and rational Peptide design. ACS Med Chem Lett. 2012 Jun 14;3(7):540-3. doi: 10.1021/ml300068r. PMID: 24900507; PMCID: PMC4025828.

Wednesday, December 07, 2022

Factsheet: Cyber Methods of Bladder Control



The adaptability of urology’s therapeutic techniques using frequency signals to control the bladder lies in thousands of related patents and methods. The exactness of methods intended for therapeutic or telemetry of communications circuits purposes is sufficiently documented by the authors. Cyber, waveform, and pulsed electric methodology remain separate from mRNA or DNA-related signals manipulations and controls. The most common methodologies are: 

  1. Pulse Generators
  2. TENS - Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation
  3. Injections of wire implants:  Tibial nerve implant, legs, sphincter, or vagina:
  4. Spinal implant
  5. Vagus implant
  6. Direct bladder control system
  7. Waveforms from a “non-invasive device”: in contact with the skin or remotely

Sample of Methods related patents:

  1.  Pulse generators as low as 1Hz to 2.1Hz –130Hz to stimulate the bladder (see US Pat. No. 6,393,323 expired 2020) URL:
  2.  Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) - Injection of implant wires inside the vagina or sphincter to deliver electrical pulses to the bladder muscles. see URL:  
  3.  Cites animal testing on dogs and hind legs in references with grants from NIH, etc "Monitoring and regulating physiological states and functions via sensory neural inputs to the spinal cord"  (see US Pat. No. US000009622671B220170418) URL:  

A vast body of methodology documents access to the bladder with hydrogels and polymerase – yet rarely through patented DNA-related CAAT-type signals. 

Online Hydrogel bulking agent references:

  1. Wierzbicka, A, Krakos, M, Wilczek, P, Bociaga, D. A comprehensive review on hydrogel materials in urology: Problems, methods, and new opportunities. J Biomed Mater Res. 2022; 1- 27. doi:10.1002/jbm.b.35179   
  2. Gopinath, D., Smith, A. R., & Reid, F. M. (2012). Periurethral abscess following polyacrylamide hydrogel (Bulkamid) for stress urinary incontinence. International urogynecology journal, 23(11), 1645–1648.
  3. Chen, H., Wu, P., Xu, H., & Wang, C. (2021). Magnetic Agarose Microspheres/Hyaluronic Acid Hydrogel as a Trackable Bulking Agent for Vesicoureteral Reflux Treatment. Frontiers in bioengineering and biotechnology, 9, 746609.

Additional suspect methods may control a subject by affecting their urination flow and hygiene using nanoparticles or nano-tech ingested in medicines, food preservatives, and liquids. Advanced New technologies incorporate these nanoparticles and nano-tech into major organs such as the kidneys, liver, and heart as part of an in-body (IB) Internet of Bio-Nano Things IoBNT. Complications may be addressed by Urology or Nephrology authors. There is little documentation on deparasitation of the test subjects from yeasts and other bacteria that can cause inflammation or other adverse urinary tract reactions such as biotoxin illness. 

Nanoparticles- Nano-tech IoBNT Reference:       

  1. Chude Okonkwo, Uche & Malekian, Reza & Maharaj, B. & Chude, Chollette. (2015). Bio-Inspired Approach for Eliminating Redundant Nanodevices in the Internet of Bio-Nano Things. 10.1109/GLOCOMW.2015.7414163. 

The above is not medical or legal advice. It is intended to help educate those who are interested in the effects of EM signals.

Angela “Kikuchi” Kneale all rights reserved  originally posted at & @imperialnewsJ Twitter December 2021, February 2022 updated December 2022

Sunday, November 27, 2022


More articles by Angela "Kikuchi" Kneale will be republished and linked soon from DropBox


IoBNT Cells 


August 02, 2022 TI Public was closed down after a 1 year test run. The 3 page contents and research links are at

TI Victims Resource Booklet 

at or download .pdf 

TI Victims Resources (download)  at

Is the Star Spangled Banner a different color for 1st Generation Americans? or Pdf at Dropbox

Cyberwar and New Signals Communication R&D, corporate run, or cyberwar?
*This is not legal advice. It is a Short Research summary at

 A hypothetical look at 4 Cybertorture narratives at
IoBNT slides 
March 4, 1994 self-published reprint November 19, 2022 
Aspects of Schoenberg & Berg in Wozzeck


IoBNT Cells

This short summary of IoBNT was prepared on June 18, 2021, by Angela Kikuchi Kneale as part of the Civil Rights research summary into cybertorture. The main goal of this summary is to generally explain the focus on research work to have a secure one-time data transfer from cells and/or molecules. And also to identify general shortcomings in such research that is financed by governments and defense companies.

Internet of Bio-Nano Things- IoBNT== short summary

by Angela "Kikuchi" Kneale  email:

One of the data security goals of IoBNT technology is to use the human body as a channel for secure data storage until secure signals or light-based retrieval happens in-body (IB);- that there is an implicit 1x use for cells and molecules in the data traffic retrieval instance. One of the complications is that the channel is compromised when information is released into the environment. However, it seems that the use of nano-machines and IoBNT have a partial goal of changing cells and molecules to create a  cell or molecule recognition failure for any secondary data retrieval attempts from those same cells used for initial data storage and retrieval.

This type of changing of cells' shape and molecules occurs after data retrieval so that the system is secure and contained- once the data or information has been initially extracted to achieve secure transmission. In commonly accepted ethical theory or "assumed" morality of researchers, on a nanoscale- this type of technology and data traffic event seems like it should be non-lethal.

Despite forms of espionage that typically leave a host dead during information exchanges being well advertised in mainstream media, this type of IoBNT"espionage" tool would hypothetically enable any agency using IB nano-tech for data retrieval to choose ANY consenting or non-consenting human channel. Here, I dare to make the connection of a human channel as a non-consenting human being instead of a free piece of existing human wetware for some researchers. However, for researchers and technologists of IoBNT, there is no correlation between a human channel as a person who is a living being and any ethical concerns for the well-being of that living person with rights.

"Light" is a term used as one of the generalized ways to affect cells and molecules' shape to prevent secondary detection and use of signals. "This category of materials integrates nanostructures capable of responding to a wide variety of light wavelengths ranging from microwaves to infrared."1  Light does not always correlate to LED, infrared, or Ultra Violet bandwidths.  Whether or not the light* used is generated by 5g or microwave, UV, showing waveguides or wavelength, exotic signals, photonic, scalar, or irradiation is commonly not indicated.

How Does Cell shape change?  

One obvious way may be cellular dehydration. Another way is conjoining infection-like technology with a bio-toxin, secondary nano-tech, or bio-nano machine.

ie., see pics below of my own live blood microscopy session pics - 

 4. Red blood cells -- take a hexagonal shape-- probably from a lack of oxygen and/or cellular death in close proximity to the presence of a bio-toxin. 

Nutritional Microscopy 2014 session of Angela Kikuchi Kneale's blood- Biotoxin illness.
 cells no longer round at all in a micro-clot web
Sample of Angela "Kikuchi" Kneale's live blood during the 2014 microscopy session.

Essentially the concept is that there is a "data traffic flow" that may disable cell function for data security in the Body Area Network. 

This may happen practically simultaneously by the use of light speed and latency- Latency rates are frequently not stated in research papers and show a lack of the researchers' ability to collect proper measurements. There are many types of measurement equipment for signals and nano-technologies that only exist in classified or top-secret government or defense facilities which may be attributed to the lack of measurements.  Yet, a lack of this data does not inhibit or exempt researchers and patents from the acquisition of the funding or sale of technologies to defense or government for use "AS IS". 

There are also several blaring, missing comparisons for quantified cell or molecular data;

1.  How many cells are used and recruited for signal transmission is not mentioned as a finite number.  Rather, the amount of "data traffic" is quantified. 

    ie,.  using the 2nd live blood microscopy pic above of a web of dead red blood cells in a singular drop of a blood specimen can be quantified by counting individual cells on a portion of the slide. 

    The problem with reading data retrieval research conducted in cadavers is that the "consumption of flesh" during signal use is cited in a variety of ways. So it leaves the reader questioning if: 

    1. the destruction of cellular materials is external and/or internal to the cadaver.

    2. the destruction of cellular structures is from literal heat, UV, microwave, or other signals destruction as a directed energy burn or from the pulsed microwave or other signals,    

        2a. If other signals include those pertaining to genetic data transmitted into a cell such as mRNA.

        2b. If this type of data transmission is intended for the assassination of the target as a non-channel.

        2c. If nano-technologies carry cell shape change or molecule shape change genetic data that has a time-release or light-based release transfer to cells, that it creates backup storage in other cells or molecules.

        2d. If this type of data transmission is intended to cause harm, death, or injury to the same or a different human channel as a human channel or human person.

    3. the destruction of cellular structures is caused by toxicity or a chain of cascading reactions linked to toxicity.

    Suggestion: Researchers could attempt to do their experiments in smaller LIVE human blood samples and provide quantitative data of cellular destruction and shape changes before proceeding in a very large cadaver. This should work unless the toxicological effects of their nano-tech cause damage before being able to run the data experiment.

2. There is no apparent correlation between the change of cell shape in a timeframe during or after data traffic events. 

3. To what extent are bio-nano-occupied cells identified by a light retrieval method of communication, and is that light from a particular type of irradiation or wavelength.

4.  Smart cities technology research has picosecond data packet download rates and other latency rates that can be used for arbitrary comparable latency rates for speed of data retrieval.

Additionally, I was only able to find one example indication of live human testing that is confirmed in publicly available research articles. That example was from a Chinese university and was published in 2019. These IoBNT types of technologies are frequently tested on cadavers and execute their purpose of data transmission through signals transmission via cadaver(s). The cadavers typically used are human or porcine (pig) and include animal experimentation on primates, rodents, etc.

 It seems that researchers are indifferent
that the human aka channel is alive for the data or signals transmission during live human tests that fall outside the scope of "medical practice". In 2021, public interest journalists, whistleblowers, medical professionals, and researchers revealed to the public that the injections of nano-technologies in live humans, fall outside the scope of medicine and consent factors and ingredients listed.

Maybe, someone in this line of IoBNT research will attempt to prevent a section of cells from dying at once in the human channel during signal propagation and could find some way to direct the secure channel to a more receptive connection requiring less "light". The purpose is to suggest having a less severe light retrieval method due to distance;- since cells are noted to die and weaken the signal strength. It seems unlikely to use intense radar signals for HBC, even with current electronic warfare capabilities of radar being nearly equal to or surpassing microwave capabilities.

*note: The language of using "light" broadly speaking overlaps with new religions- ie, Aurelian technologies - used with spirituality. Some of these light-based religions may use scalar and irradiation technology as forms of light, in addition to the photonic light of raising a hand. Photonic light naturally occurs from the hands' fingertips and also feet. These are supposed to be scientific research papers and describe the signals propagated rather than using a new age religious spiritual light language. ET in the military language is generally known to be an Electronics Technician. Yet ET is used in Aurelian spirituality as Extra Terrestrial or "Alien" in defining their 'technologies of spirituality' and use of light.

References: Articles cited and quotations are below;

1. Ilaria Armenia, Carlos Cuestas Ayllón, Beatriz Torres Herrero, Francesca Bussolari, Gabriel Alfranca, Valeria Grazú, Jesús Martínez de la Fuente, Photonic and magnetic materials for on-demand local drug delivery, Advanced Drug Delivery Reviews, Volume 191, 2022, 114584, ISSN 0169-409X, Keywords: Nanotherapy; Magnetic nanomaterial; Photonic nanomaterial; Stimuli-responsive drug delivery


"While most prior work has proposed the use of enzymes to catalyze the molecules' degradation, enzymes also degrade the molecules carrying the information, which drastically decreases the signal strength."
Dambri OA, Cherkaoui S. Performance Enhancement of Diffusion-Based Molecular Communication. IEEE Trans Nanobioscience. 2020 Jan;19(1):48-58. doi: 10.1109/TNB.2019.2949261. Epub 2019 Oct 24. PMID: 31647441. 
Dissanayak MB, Ekanayake N. On the exact performance analysis of Molecular Communication via Diffusion for Internet of Bio-Nano Things. IEEE Trans Nanobioscience. 2021 Apr 9;PP. doi: 10.1109/TNB.2021.3072230. Epub ahead of print. PMID: 33835921.

Ahmadzadeh A, Arjmandi H, Burkovski A, Schober R. Comprehensive Reactive Receiver Modeling for Diffusive Molecular Communication Systems: Reversible Binding, Molecule Degradation, and Finite Number of Receptors. IEEE Trans Nanobioscience. 2016 Oct;15(7):713-727. doi: 10.1109/TNB.2016.2609600. Epub 2016 Sep 14. PMID: 27654883.

"We consider the diffusive molecular communication channel between a transmitter nano-machine and a receiver nano-machine in a fluid environment. The information molecules released by the transmitter nano-machine into the environment can degrade in the channel via a first-order degradation reaction and those that reach the receiver nano-machine can participate in a reversible bimolecular reaction with receiver receptor proteins. T"

Mokry G, Pozuelo J, Vilatela JJ, Sanz J, Baselga J. High Ampacity Carbon Nanotube Materials. Nanomaterials (Basel). 2019 Mar 6;9(3):383. doi: 10.3390/nano9030383. PMID: 30845698; PMCID: PMC6474024.
Keywords: ampacity; carbon-nanotubes; composites; current carrying capacity; diffusion; electromigration; electronics; interconnects; miniaturization.
Abstract Quotation:
"Molecular communication is an important tool to understand biological communications with many promising applications in Internet of Bio-Nano Things (IoBNT)."

"The data rate, channel capacity, and the group propagation delay are analyzed for a two-cell network between a pancreatic beta cell and a muscle cell that are connected through a capillary. The results point out a correlation between an increase in insulin resistance and a decrease in the data rate and channel capacity, an increase in the insulin transmission rate, and an increase in the propagation delay."

Abbasi NA, Akan OB. An Information Theoretical Analysis of Human Insulin-Glucose System Toward the Internet of Bio-Nano Things. IEEE Trans Nanobioscience. 2017 Dec;16(8):783-791. doi: 10.1109/TNB.2017.2762160. Epub 2017 Oct 11. PMID: 29028203.


Subramaniam C, Sekiguchi A, Yamada T, Futaba DN, Hata K. Nano-scale, planar and multi-tiered current pathways from a carbon nanotube-copper composite with high conductivity, ampacity and stability. Nanoscale. 2016 Feb 21;8(7):3888-94. doi: 10.1039/c5nr03762j. PMID: 26486752.

"Importantly, all such complex structures, ranging from 500 nm to 20 μm in width, exhibited ∼100-times higher ampacity than any known metal, with comparable electrical conductivity as Cu. In addition, CNT-Cu structures also exhibited a superior temperature stability compared to the ∼10-times wider Cu counterparts."
Search terms:  ampacity; buffer layer; carbon nanotube; composite fiber; electroplating; interfacial bonding.

"...the new composite fiber with a 2 μm thick Cu layer can exhibit a superhigh effective strength >800 MPa, electrical conductivity >2 × 107 S/m, and ampacity >1 × 105 A/cm2. The composite fiber can also sustain 10 000 times of bending and continuously work for 100 h at 90% ampacity."

Zou J, Liu D, Zhao J, Hou L, Liu T, Zhang X, Zhao Y, Zhu YT, Li Q. Ni Nanobuffer Layer Provides Light-Weight CNT/Cu Fibers with Superior Robustness, Conductivity, and Ampacity. ACS Appl Mater Interfaces. 2018 Mar 7;10(9):8197-8204. doi: 10.1021/acsami.7b19012. Epub 2018 Feb 21. PMID: 29429334.


Torture Resources

to be updated:



October 30, 2022 - Gerhard Wiesnewski, Research Journalist 13:18 in "The Sequel to the Fall of the Cabal  Part 25 Covid 19 torture program" 

June 29, 2022 - Istanbul Protocol: Manual on the Effective Investigation and Documentation of Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment (2022 edition) ISBN: 978-92-1-154241-7 or PDF download available at:


United Nations A/HRC/46/L.27: Torture and other cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment: the roles and responsibilities of police and other law enforcement officials - Human Rights Council resolution A/HRC/46/L.27 (2021)  


20 March 2020 - United Nations A/HRC/43/49: Report on psychological torture and ill-treatment


GA/12160  - General Assembly Adopts Texts on Torture-Free Trade, Assisting Terrorism Victims, Anniversary of Cairo Population Conference at 
Towards torture-free trade : examining the feasibility, scope and parameters for possible common international standards : resolution / adopted by the General Assembly at

An Open Secret: The Growing Problem of Cyber Torture via Coordinated Stalking


September 2007- International Review of the Red Cross; The Worst Scars are in the Mind by Hernan Reys at


Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities: Article 15  at


Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel Inhuman or Degrading Treatment


December 9, 1975 - Declaration on the Protection of All Persons from Being Subjected to Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment at


Downloadable Pdf version of Amnesty International Report on Torture 1973

Sunday, November 20, 2022

My return to the Mainland;- anti AAPI hate happened.

It's been a long 4 years away from Hawaii. Hawaii, where my heart felt at home in the USA. So, I returned to the mainland USA, Bucks County, PA and got blindsided with Trump prompted Toxicity. I do mean Toxicity from the locals once I took my Hawaii I.D, to change it in for Pennsylvania residency. The DeepState, if you believe the 'conspiracy theory' or not, was all over me once I couldn't escape the immediate jurisdiction of Pennsylvania. That means, no more outside help or intervention from AAPI friendly police or local officials of Hawaii. 

Today, my intent to try and restart my life in the USA mainland is fizzled out from AAPI hate incidents and the hate from local businesses. As well as the jab which I cannot take as it will certainly kill me within minutes. The United States of America, has impressed extenuating circumstances on me and tortured me as a form of political hostage taking for racketeering, and/or trafficking of a child born to a Japanese citizen within the USA, and more. The international legal analysis of what the United States has done with my life is really an extreme form of political torture for being related to Japanese infrastructure officials. And normal Americans, don't care and are extremely careless and intentionally harmful to my life and acceptance in the international business community. 

So, all the healing I did to recover from the deadly attacks on me and my immediate family from 2002-2007 basically got wrecked. Instead these men, attacked me on the road, driving, at the house with scope guns and verbal threats. It was so bad that I literally felt their intent was to kill me under President Trump. I mean full blown toxicity of stalking me every time I left the house. And, the inequality of the entire situation including intent to kill me being a daily issue. It did not allow me the safety and peace to establish myself, restart a piano studio, and secure stable part-time or full-time work. And, it was clearly not the intent of those in my immediate family to do anything other than discredit me and kill me;- up until Biden became President AND anti-AAPI hate incident reporting was implemented nationwide. I had done everything I could to keep myself alive. And the Torture complaint is simply a matter of my  expression of the extensive torture I endured from my immediate family- mainly my father and his associates in the local government. He has not only remained unapologetic, but takes any opportunity to cause further harm to my life in significant ways. He was instructed by his attorneys Litzenberger and Knight long ago, when I was a toddler or prior to that time, of how much good he should do to try and make his participation in attempting to kill me look 'accidental' or spontaneous. His actions are calculated and supported by others like him in local government positions including police, NRA, and gun clubs.

This has turned into a financially strained to the grain 4 years on the mainland. And I've done everything I could to minimize more physical injuries. The early pandemic day I woke with bruises on my arm and leg, It took another 6 months for me to regain mobility of my arm. AND, i felt I had to reset the upper  humerus. And, it got to the point that I could do some lat pulldowns at the gym to about 70lbs max using both arms. But, because of the elderly crazies harassing me through my mom who believes in sacrificing my life over standing up to white supremacy;- I had to quit the gym after an elderly track coach approached me on a treadmill and started telling me what to do for no reason. Absolutely racist, sexist, and infuriating.

This morning, I had to reset the bone again. It seems to shift. But the state here doesn't support me AT ALL. meaning no health insurance, EBT, PUA, vegan noms from the food pantry;- nothing. But I put on weight anyway because I came off of my keto vegan diet and the carbs just added up real fast. So, i'm at my highest weight ever in my life.And, trying what I can to take it back down. So, I like walking but the cops found a way to hack my apps, social media, and got themselves situated to be ready to try and hit-and run me while on my usual morning walk.  I used to walk 2 miles every morning for years, trained in Hawaii up to 50hrs a week, danced, hit the gym, did Kokoro Yoga outdoors, Core Power, you name it... All of that burned massive calories and is now gone from my life. 

Every time I moved in my room during pandemic, I had velocoraptor like Trump supporters yelling at the doors I had barricaded and threatening to kill me.That's not to mention shutting off the wifi on me, or making such noise I couldn't do job interviews or much that wouldn't disturb my outside life. Yes, sadly I even had to turn my Protein stash into mini potties during the 1st year of pandemic. Really that bad, not joking. Furniture barricaded my door at my parents home and I started working on ACTUALLY completing the torture affidavit that I nearly got killed for several times. This is afterall, international politics and the reality of having a mother who is easily coerced into taking a stand against me by the white racists.

Wishing for some more pleasant times;- Biden got voted in and things calmed down a bit. Though, I'm still coming out of soul shock of having the local neighbors and police trying to kill me. In addition to being spat on, and attacked when I went into public. 

I filed tons of complaints, worked on an actual international torture complaint against the USA. And cannot believe I am still here today, and alive.

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Mahler and Kindertotenlieder to add to Wozzeck

This is an edited reprint of writing and research I conducted independently in the 90s as a teenager. 

It reflects my historical, philosophical, and musical interests centering around the time of revolution and war in Germany and Austria. And, again, like my ebook on Wozzeck- my personal fascination with the forensic psychology of composers guided the nature of this short ebook on Mahler. It is written for those who already grasp Mahler's music and know of the curse that accompanies the performances of this very dark vocal and orchestral work, the Kindertotenlieder or Songs on the Deaths of Children.

The Idea of Immortality in Gustav Mahler's Kindertotenlieder

By  Angela M. “Kikuchi”  Kneale

March 4, 1994  

self-published reprint November 19, 2022

Gustav Mahler was a conductor and composer who was born in Kalischt (Kalist), Bohemia

 on July seventh, eighteen-hundred and sixty, 07/07/1860. Of fourteen children born to 

Bernhard and Marie Mahler, Gustav Mahler was the first of six to survive early childhood.

 Gustav Mahler, known simply as Mahler, was born to Jewish parents, but later in his life 

converted to Catholicism for the sole purpose of drawing larger audiences to his

 performances during his time in Vienna. He was also vegetarian, and had a strong 

philosophical view of life. 

Mahler studied history and philosophy at the University of Vienna between 1877 and 1880,

 and came in direct contact with Sigmund Freud, who was surprised with Mahler's psycho-

analytical perceptiveness. Mahler also came in contact with people who knew the famed 

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, (1844-1900), a philosopher who intrigued Mahler.

In conjunction with his philosophical interests, Mahler's encounters with death and his 

desire for immortality lead to the composition of his operatic song cycle the  

Kindertotenlieder in 1904. The first three songs were written for the song cycle in the 

summer of 1901, "Nun will die Sonn' so hell aufgeh'n", "Nun seh' ich wohl, warum so

 dunkle Flammen", and "In diesem Wetter, in diesem Braus", respectively song numbers

 1, 2, and 5. The remaining two songs, written in the summer of 1904, were "Wenn dein

 Mütterlein" and "Oft denk' ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen", respectively numbers 3 and 4.

 These Kindertotenlieder or “Songs on the deaths of children”,  5 song cycle, was written

 to commemorate his younger brother Ernst Mahler who died in 1874. Mahler was deeply 

affected by this loss. It has been said that:

"Ernst's death was the first cruel experience in Gustav Mahler's childhood. 

He loved his brother, and followed every stage of his illness with profound distress.

 It seems that he did not stir from his brother's bedside throughout the many months

 of his illness, and passed the time by telling him stories."1

However, this was not the only catalyst of this sorrowful and cursed song cycle. In addition

 to his brother's death, Mahler lost his parents in 1889. On February 24, 1901 the final 

catalyst was Mahler’s own direct personal experience with death;-  when Mahler had 

a hemorrhage that was caused by the bacteria streptococci viridans that prevented his

 heart valves from functioning properly and was a near fatal experience.2  Given the relatively

 short time-frame of these tragic events within 17 years, Mahler re-evaluated his life. His

 fear of mortality led him to look for ways to surpass its boundaries, the most obvious being

 to have children. Since he was in his early forties and still unmarried, he had no practical 

and socially acceptable way of proceeding with this solution. This is why the 

Kindertotenlieder were written. Within these songs, Mahler expressed his want of having 

children of his own while faced with the harshness of reality.

"Mahler's crisis shocked him into the thought of having children of his own 

'as a gateway to immortality'; his whirlwind courtship of Alma Schindler 

resulted from his wish to have children; he symbolized his wish to have 

children in the Kindertotenlieder in the form of a mourning parent."3

In 1902 Mahler’s longings were fulfilled by his marriage to Alma Schindler on March ninth,

 and followed by the birth of their daughter, Maria Anna on November third.  Also in 1902

 Mahler's Third Symphony was premiered. This Symphony contained the poem  

“Zarathustra's Rundgesang” of Friedrich Nietzsche. Mahler showed great interest in 

Nietzsche's philosophy, as can be seen in part of his daily routine in the autumn of 1896,

 "With his coffee and a cigarette he first reads for a while (Des Knaben Wunderhorn

Goethe, and Nietzsche)."4 It was also through his interest in Nietzsche's philosophy that

 Mahler was able to overcome the despair of his earthly dilemma. It was this same philosophy

 which added momentum to the writing of Kindertotenlieder.

Mahler's Kindertotenlieder set are only five of several hundred Rückert poems. How Mahler

 decided which poems to use for his Kindertotenlieder may have been influenced by Nietzsche's

 primary philosophy in “Also Sprach Zarathustra”, which Mahler was reading in 1894. Bruno 

Walter G (1876-1962), a German conductor at the Municipal Theater in Hamburg, stated,

 "Mahler also inspired me with an interest in Nietzsche, with whose Also Sprach Zarathustra

 he was just then much occupied."5 The Kindertotenlieder cycle starts with sunrise and concludes

 with sunset. Typically, throughout human history, these solar images symbolize birth and death,

 yet, this concrete symbolism applies only to the commemoration of his brother Ernest’s life and 

the incomplete life cycle of Mahler himself. This widely accepted association does not explain why

 Mahler felt that writing of children, forever irretrievable-- both unborn and deceased,  displayed

 his emotional and psychological longing for the birth of his offspring. 

A less traditional association of sunrises and sunsets -- which could explain Mahler's reasoning

 pertaining to his choice of 5 of 428 Rückert poems-- is found in Also Sprach Zarathustra. Here,

 Nietzsche connects the sunrise and light with things which are religious, religion being decadent

 and thus scorned. However, life in the earthly, dark, Dionysian sense is hailed as the expanse of 

infinite imagination and a dream world intermingling with a veil of madness without the spiritual 

grace of God. The image of the sun going under the earth (a sunset) is seen as desirable as it 

draws attention to earthly life and improving mankind’s day to day reality, rather than to live in fear 

of nature and  to neglect humanity by looking to the heavens. It symbolizes the birth of new 

generations which would follow this doctrine.

Fig. 1


Human limitations


Beyond Human Limitations


Traditional view

(widely accepted interpretation)

Birth of Gustav Mahler

Death of Gustav Mahler (1911)

No evidence

Nietzschean view

Non-existent Children = 

(Mahler’s Death)

Birth of children

 (& their survival)

Mahler supersedes his mortality.

Keeping in mind that songs 1, 2, and 5 of Kindertotenlieder were written shortly after Mahler's February

 1901 encounter with death, the evidence of the Nietzschean view of the sunrise holds true. In the first 

song of Kindertotenlieder, "The symbolic mitigation is the sun- the sun that will rise and gladden the 

heart."6 "The sun that will rise and gladden the heart" is contrary to what Mahler apparently feels and

 wrong according to the Nietzschean view. The rising sun in the first line (see appendix for complete 

poems) reflects Mahler's realization of his mortality. In line 8 of the poem, "A lamp has gone out in my 

(his) abode.” His "abode" is referring to his house and the reality that when he is gone there will be no

 living embodiment of his descent to occupy it. The concluding line of this poem, "Hail to the whole 

world's gladdening light!", then becomes a cry of great despair over his impending death. This mood

 leads to the second song where he lingers upon this terrifying fate and becomes spiteful (with himself)

 for being too busy with his day-to-day concerns.

Song 2 - Nun seh' ich wohl, warum so dunkle Flammen

line 1 Now I see clearly...

line 5 Yet I never suspected (because of the mists that hovered round me, 

line 6 All spun by the deceitful looms of fate),

The tension builds to the fifth and last Kindertotenlieder song, where Mahler has become emotionally 

fierce, thus opening and closing the song with a storm.

Song 5 - In diesem Wetter, in diesem Braus

line 1 In this grim weather, this raging storm, 

(closing lines 17-21)

17 In this grim weather, this howling gale, this raging storm,

18  They rest, as if in their mother's house. 

19  No storm can now frighten them,

20  The hand of God protects them,

21  They rest, as if in their mother’s house.

There is one especially interesting factor that could contribute to the choosing of the setting of the fifth

  Kindertotenlieder song. Mahler changed "mother's house (Haus)" in lines 18 and 21 to "mother's 

womb (Mutterschoß)," (see fig. 2).7 This intentional change of the original Rückert

fig. 2 

 A 5 measure example manuscript from  Engraver’s Copy of “In diesem Wetter” 

Bedeckt sie ruh’n sie ruh’n wie in der Mutter Haus, wie… The song example begins with Treble

 clef and 2 sharps F#, C# beginning on a half note E5 with the syllable de- of Be-de-cket. 

m. de-cket, sie      m.   ruh’n, sie      m.   ruh’n wie       m.   in der Mutter    m.   Schoß  Haus, wie


In diesem WetterStichvorlage (portion of final measures.) 7


poem signifies an ending which speaks of unborn, non-existent children. It also contributes to the 

uncertainty, frustration, and reality of Mahler ever having children to fill his "abode."

Mahler composes "Wenn dein Mütterlein" und "Oft denk' ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen"

Keeping in mind that Mahler was married and had his first child the year after the first of the songs

 of the Kindertotenlieder cycle were written, a change in mood is found in Kindertotenlieder 

song 3 "Wenn dein Mütterlein"and song 4, "Oft denk' ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen"."Wenn dein 

Mütterlein" depicts a father daydreaming of a daughter, who is non-existent, but he very easily

 conjures her image. It is very probable that this poem was chosen since Gustav and Alma Mahler

 expected a child the same summer the third and fourth songs were composed. On June 15, 1904

 their second daughter Anna Justine was born.

The setting of Rückert’s of "Oft denk' ich, sie sind nur ausgegangen" in Kindertotenlieder depicts 

lost children, and a parent's hope that their children will be returning home. This song, like the

 others, depicts dead, non-existent children in the traditional sense of a delusional or intoxicated

 parent easing their grief with a mirage of memory. A duality in real life and in spiritual 

life;- “Coming home”, to the parent who lives or to God.  However, in the Nietzschean sense,

 it shows the success of Mahler surpassing his mortality reflected in the last two lines of the poem.

Song 4

line 11 We'll soon overtake them, up on the hills,

line 12 In the sunshine! The day is fine upon the hills!

Referring to figure 3, "We'll soon overtake them, up on the hills,/In the sunshine!" is the parents’ 

death in God’s light, They are both in the sunshine and since the children cannot be found in the

 light where their parents are, they must be in the tumultuous Dionysian darkness, remembered.

Fig. 3




Traditional view

Birth of parents

Death of parents 

No evidence 

Birth of children

Death of children

No evidence

Nietzschean view

Parents' death

Surviving Children

Parents surpass

"In the sunshine!"


Parents surpass


The remaining phrase "The day is fine upon the hills!" is the cry of continued life that was missing

 in the first Kindertotenlieder, although the parents are going to be "In the sunshine," they have

 assurance that their children are not there. The dual meaning that these five Rückert poems

 take on made sure that they were not set to music due to some frivolous fancy of Mahler's.

 Surly it was the philosophical interests of Gustav Mahler and his encounters not only with 

death, but also with birth, influenced the choosing of these particular Rückert poems.

 Incomplete rehearsals and other performances of the Kindertotenlieder cycle were conducted with a singer and smaller chamber ensemble more suited for Mahler's Rückert-Lieder (see fig. 4 ) or Songs after Rückert in January 1905. The complete Kindertotenlieder cycle was premiered with a full orchestra, with similar fuller and robust instrumentation (see fig. 5), for his 5th Symphony that was orchestrated in Essen on March 8, 1906. In a letter to his wife dated March 9, 1906 Mahler wrote,

 "...So yesterday the symphony (5th), Kindertotenlieder, magnificent performance 

except for the singer (Gerard Zalsman), who lacked warmth."



Fig. 4 - Ruckert-Lieder Orchestration

Fig. 5 Kindertotenlieder Orchestration

It is well known that Mahler's wife had said to Mahler, before they married, that to compose such

 sorrowful pieces as the Kindertotenlieder was "tempting Providence!" The year after the 

premiere of the work, Maria Anna, his eldest daughter died at the age of five. Her death

 was followed by the composition of Das Lied von der Erde (The Song of the Earth) 

which was to commemorate her. Mahler died at the age of fifty-one from heart disease,

 that was diagnosed the same year Maria Anna passed. Fortunately, his younger daughter

 Anna Justine survived him, living into the late 1900's.


Miss Angela M. “Kikuchi” Kneale has a B.A. in Music (piano) and extensive private studies in

 European classical piano performance. 




1.  Kurt Blaukopf and Herta Blaukopf, Mahler, (Yugoslavia: Thames and Hudson, 1991), p. 21.

2.  Edward F. Kravitt, "Mahler Dirges for his Death: February 24, 1901," Musical Quarterly, 64 (1980), p. 329.

3.  Kravitt, "Mahler Dirges," Musical Quarterly, p. 333.

4.  Kurt Blaukopf and Herta Blaukopf, Mahler, (Yugoslavia: Thames and Hudson, 1991), p. 118.

5.  Kurt Blaukopf and Herta Blaukopf, Mahler, (Yugoslavia: Thames and Hudson, 1991), p. 106.

6.  Donald Mitchell, Songs and Symphonies of Life and Death. (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1985),p. 93.

7. Edward F. Kravitt, "Mahler Dirges for his Death: February 24, 1901," Musical Quarterly, 64 (1980), pp. 335- 336.

Other References: 


Gustav Mahler, Thomas Hampson, Weiner Philharmoniker, Leonard Bernstein “Kindertotenlieder

 from Symphony No. 6 & Kindertotenlieder,‎ CD 427 699-2 Deutsch Grammophon GmbH, 

Hamburg 🅟1989, 🅒1986 by Sevenarts Ltd. London.


Nietzsche, Friedrich, “Also Sprach Zarathustra” 


Please see complete works of Nietzsche